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If you're looking for me to brag about how cute my kids are (which they are) or talk about how much weight I did or didn't lose this week, you are in the wrong place! I have a Facebook account for that. This blog is about the blunt truths of parenting, tips and tricks of the trade, some addicting mommy junk and all the other disgusting hilarity that ensues when you have kids...especially two kids only 12 months apart like myself.

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Tuesday, March 22

Kids can ruin your marriage: First few weeks after birth

Where did we leave off? Oh yes, both husband and wife are exhausted and full of emotions.

Hearing the nurse say we were being discharged from the hospital after Boo's birth was one of the most surreal moments of our lives. My husband and I looked at each other like, wow, they are sending us home with a baby? Are they sure we know what we're doing???

So we put Boo in the car seat and go home. We pull the car seat out of the car and set him in the middle of the living room and stare at him. Ok, this is really freaking weird!

Here is how it went for me: Breastfeeding sucked. It hurt and I just couldn't get it down right. I wanted to strangle my husband for every comment he made as supportive as it was....he didn't have to wake up every two hours and try to figure it out! What did he know?

After delivering Edward-Scissor-Head (Boo gave me FOUR nasty tears), I couldn't sit, stand, walk or lay comfortably for six to seven weeks. My body hurt and I stunk (from the hormones...and I sweat like a pig...thank god though because I had a lot of water weight to shed). This doesn't exactly make someone cheery and easy to get along with (poor wife AND poor husband).

My husband? Well, he looked a little tired. He got to go away to work (he went back to work after only a few days as he's self-employed) while I was stuck in the house with baby that only pooped and wanted to torture me via breastfeeding. Resentment officially set in.

Now, the biggest thing that put stress on our marriage for me was waking up, even after we switched to bottles, to a crying baby. Now how the hell could he possibly be sleeping? Nudge nudge...your turn dude. No response. Ok, I'll do it...AGAIN! He did have to work the next day and I "got to stay home with the baby" so I should do it anyways....grrr.

Basically the husbands life still slightly resembles his old one: sleep through the night, go to work... The wife? Every moment of life is different. No work. No sleep. Different body. For me, terrible skin for the first few weeks after Boo was born.

To top it off, ourconversations centered around baby poop and how much he was eating. Both of us were exhausted and grumpy. More marital stress as we try and adjust to our new lives wearing our new hats and mommy and daddy...oh yeah, and no sex for anyone!

To be continued...

5 comments:

Colleen said...

this is EXACTLY what my newborn experience was like. So disappointing and frustrating after all of the build up and excitement for the new baby. These memories are what make me really nervous about having a second...

bubbi and boo said...

i'm sorry you had the same experience as it sucked, but that's why im sharing my stories...seems like many moms have some situation but no one to talk to about it...then comes guilt and that terribly alone feeling. i promise the second is MUCH easier bc there are no rose colored glasses to burst your bubble! you know what you're getting into and that it gets better!

Stacey said...

um...did you read my mind and copy my thoughts EXACTLY? Except Sam is still on the boob, haven't switched to bottles yet...but I pump so we have some stored!

Julie said...

love your blog. It is so true and it was exactly that way for us (well I had additional complications that turned a few miserable weeks into a few miserable months) but it is so great to read and not feel like I was the only one.

loveablecassandra said...

Hi Ramona,
Thank's for the comment. I'm now following you in google friend connect. Hope you can follow me too at:
http://www.cassandrasminicorner.com
http://www.loveablecassandra.blogspot.com

Thank's a bunch. Have a nice day!