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If you're looking for me to brag about how cute my kids are (which they are) or talk about how much weight I did or didn't lose this week, you are in the wrong place! I have a Facebook account for that. This blog is about the blunt truths of parenting, tips and tricks of the trade, some addicting mommy junk and all the other disgusting hilarity that ensues when you have kids...especially two kids only 12 months apart like myself.

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Saturday, March 26

Diary of neurotic mom: Alcoholism, please

Let me quickly start that I would like to call this section "Diary of a neurotic mommy", but Boo, Mr. J Cool himself, calls me mom more than mommy...so mom it is. Another note, I am neurotic. If you know me well, you will have thought "no shit". Thanks for the love.

Wikipedia defines Neurosis as a class of functional mental disorders involving distress but neither delusions nor hallucinations, whereby behavior is not outside socially acceptable norms. OMG I really am neurotic?!? Hard for me to believe most moms aren't to a certain extent, but that's just my opinion.

Ok, to the post.

Ever since I was pregnant with Bubbi, my second, I often found myself having to consciously choose to not be an alcoholic. Of course it wasn't an option when I was pregnant, but I did think several times a week, "thank god I'm pregnant because this would be the ideal time to become an alcoholic".

Now that my body is mine, the option to become an alcoholic is continually appealing. Especially after last night! Boo, my long-time champion sleeper, has been waking up at night and keeping me up for an hour plus (long story not meant for this post...this one is about the mommies dammit).

Wake up this morning at 8 am after being awake from 2:15 am to about 4:30 am. Grumpy and feel what I can only describe as hungover (no, I took no meds or drank no booze in the last 24 hours). First thought? Oh how wonderful it would be to pop a xanax and chase it down with a fish-bowl sized glass of red wine!

Now there would have been a time when I kept this desire (that's all it is...a desire that will never be acted upon because, well, I enjoy having custody of my kids...usually) to myself. However, a friend posted a jest on Facebook yesterday referring to stay-at-home moms taking valium. The responses were hilarious ranging from calling valium "mother's-little-helper" to stating "I'm on the wine train" and "choo choo"!

My point? If you wake up and find yourself ashamed that you want to start the day with a hardcore sedative and/or a bottle of tequila, don't! Not saying you should act on it...at least not every day.


maria said...

Lol. I had one of these moments yesterday. It has been on of those weeks and I told Ben "I could use a shot of Patron right now- or two or three." there are many times when I would love to drink myself to numbness :-)

Laura said...

Um, I often count down the clock until 5:00, when I can justify starting my glass of wine. I have to go slow though because I usually only allow myself one glass a night... so it has to last!

shanna2777 said...

Haha! My alcoholic moments usually come at the end of the day. Choo choo!


Bubbi and Boo said...

So glad all of you lovely ladies would love to swim in a deep see of booze with me!