About this blog

If you're looking for me to brag about how cute my kids are (which they are) or talk about how much weight I did or didn't lose this week, you are in the wrong place! I have a Facebook account for that. This blog is about the blunt truths of parenting, tips and tricks of the trade, some addicting mommy junk and all the other disgusting hilarity that ensues when you have kids...especially two kids only 12 months apart like myself.

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Monday, March 7

And then there was Boo

I guess it would be best to start with my pregnancy with Boo. I've never wanted anything more than to be a mommy. I went to a college preparatory high school where the girls were trained to be doctors and lawyers (however several ended up being strippers...imagine that). Anyhow, my dream was to be a stay at home mom so you can imagine the looks I got! So getting pregnant was supposed to be step one in my lifelong dream. NO! I freaked out swearing the child was going to have a serious disorder if I didn't miscarry first. I hated pretty much everything about being pregnant. I don't care what anyone says, being pregnant is the most unnatural thing that can happen to a woman's body!!! I had constant morning sickness without vomiting until week 18. I had the world's worst road rage. My boobs hurt, my back hurt, I ended up having fainting spells from low blood pressure (one while I was driving....awesome), it hurt to no end when the baby moved and I was always waiting for him to make me spontaneously vomit or poop my pants (never happened). Labor was fine....nineteen and a half hours with only ten minutes of pushing. His heart rate dropped quickly and they pulled out hedge sheers for an episiotomy. I took one look at those and pushed him out!! His APGAR score was a 2 (on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the worst). They did CPR and he was fine. Very scary, but his five minute APGAR score was a 9. Then I attempted breastfeeding and we all went to sleep. I woke up to find blood blisters all over my poor boobs! Insert several painful meetings with lactation consultants, missed sleep and four second degree tears down there and life SUCKED! I officially thought I had ruined my life!!!

Insert two weeks of secretly planning running away and failed breastfeeding attempts. I gave up on being the perfect mommy early...breastfeeding wasn't going to work. At 6 weeks I cried because I couldn't go back to work yet (6 more weeks off via Paid Family Leave). By 12 weeks I cried because I thought I may have to go back to work. From there life got much better and Boo was a perfect baby. By about 2.5 months he was sleeping ten plus hour stretches...insert Bubbi Oops here.

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