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If you're looking for me to brag about how cute my kids are (which they are) or talk about how much weight I did or didn't lose this week, you are in the wrong place! I have a Facebook account for that. This blog is about the blunt truths of parenting, tips and tricks of the trade, some addicting mommy junk and all the other disgusting hilarity that ensues when you have kids...especially two kids only 12 months apart like myself.

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Friday, September 2

Ended in Strangers and Blood. Awesome!!

So, being the super cool mom I am, I decided to meet some friends at a new local children's museum. I go places alone with both kids alllll the time. No big!

No big? F-ME BIG!

Bubbi decides she's done. Over it. Time to go. Ok, so I give Boo a 10 minute warning. In the meantime, Bubbi throws herself on the floor and conducts a no-joke 10 minute tantrum. I just let her while I talk to other moms and occasionally mouth "two year old" or "nap time" to staring passerbys.

Ten minutes later I tell Boo time to go (with a one minute warning before of course). He FLIPS OUT.

Really? They are really both going to do this to me? Awesome!!!

I pull kicking and screaming Bubbi off the floor and try to carry her flailing body in one arm and Boo in the other.

No go.

We make it to the parking lot and both kids drop to the floor kicking and screaming. Boo's shoe is off and all he wants me to do is hold him...after I put his shoe back on. Bubbi just wants to freak out, kick and scream and generally act like a tired two year old from hell.

A few minutes later of me not making it anywhere and this ANGEL (with strollered 2 year old twins of her own) offers to help. I say, "PLEASE!"

She takes kicking and screaming Boo with both hands while I have kicking and screaming Bubbi in one hand and I push the stroller with the other. We get to my car and Bubbi is COVERED IN BLOOD!!!!


I thank the lady and she bolts. I lock Boo in the car (he's totally freaked out now - yes, even more than before - since a stranger just carried him 15 yards) so I can see why the hell Bubbi is bleeding.

Turns out to be her gums. Cut them or something at some point during her freak out. I fight to strap her sorry butt in the car then get Boo in.

We leave. THANK GOD!