About this blog

If you're looking for me to brag about how cute my kids are (which they are) or talk about how much weight I did or didn't lose this week, you are in the wrong place! I have a Facebook account for that. This blog is about the blunt truths of parenting, tips and tricks of the trade, some addicting mommy junk and all the other disgusting hilarity that ensues when you have kids...especially two kids only 12 months apart like myself.

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Wednesday, January 2

Miss Us???

I've been getting random comments on here lately and even a few comments from friends, so I thought I would drop a line....
And since it is Worldess Wednesday, I thought I would blast you with a year of pictures I just didn't make time to blog this year!!
As you can see, Bubbi got glasses...AND SHE FREAKING ROCKS THEM LIKE A DIVA!
My kids now see dead people!! Not really....we just enjoy visiting my dad's grave.
Pumpkin patch fun!

Outside the Exploratorium...such a sweet pair (when they aren't fighting).

This years's best Santa photo of "both" kids. Seriously.

And here is THE best photo ever by Jenna Connor Photography.

As you can see, we are all live and well! I hope to get on here a bit more. XOXO

Friday, December 9

Santa 2011 (and Gracey Lou Designs)

Like most people, I took the kids to see Santa. I knew Boo would be a problem when he told me he wanted to stay home.

We went to my in-laws gym to meet the old man and snap some of our own pics for free (love me some free). Both kids were very excited.

We went upstairs and Bubbi ran to give Santa the cookie we made him earlier that day (and totally tripped and ate sh*t as well as dropped the cookie smack on the floor). Santa accepted it as his helper rushed over to free his hands from the, um, delicious homemade treat. I placed her on his lap and she was beside herself like she had just met her teen idol.

THEN he sang her "Jingle Bells'. She makes me sing her that song 10 times a day...before nap, before bed and whenever else she feels the need. OMG Santa knew that was her favorite song!

Boo? OH HELL NO was he even going near that creepy Santa with beard about to fall off any second (hey, you get what you pay for). I couldn't even get him to stand close enough to take a flipping picture with Santa and him in the same frame.

Oh well. He finally managed to shout just loud enough that he wanted a rocket ship for Christmas.

And a quick shout out to the maker of the kids awesomely adorable threads...Gracey Lou Designs! Not only is her stuff adorable, but it comes out great in the washing machine!!

Just Call CPS: Swimming in the fountain

I'm guilty...SOOO GUILTY! Guilty of not watching my child like a hawk around the stip mall fountain.

Now don't get me wrong, I told both the little snots (yes, little snots because they were both having a bad listening day) not to climb on the fountain or lean over to try and play with the water. After time 547 (ok maybe 5 or 6) I took a "me" moment and tried to carry on adult conversation for an entire 30 second stretch.

GASP!?!? You stopped staring at your kids when they were around knee deep water?!?! Yes, like I said, guilty.

SPLASH! My friend looks first and my eyes follow only to see Boo standing in the water fountain to shocked to let out a real howl.

What do I do?! Sit there and laugh!! I couldn't get my mommy act together for the life of me. I think it had to be because I had told him soooo many times not to climb up and/or lean over and that he was standing up...not busy drowning.

Finally my friend and mother-in-law help me get my act together with their concerned faces (it was only a matter of seconds) and I run over and get him out. He's soaked head to toe and it is freezing as we our outside in late November. I strip him down and Grammy saves the day with a towel she has in her car. I steal Bubbi's sweater and find extra pants and underwear of his from my car.

The outcome in my opinion? Hopefully a good lesson learned for him AND witness Bubbi as well as her little friend. Did I learn anything? Hmmm....

PS - Sorry no pictures. I was infront of a crowd of people and I didn't need a bystander to really call CPS.

Friday, September 2

Ended in Strangers and Blood. Awesome!!

So, being the super cool mom I am, I decided to meet some friends at a new local children's museum. I go places alone with both kids alllll the time. No big!

No big? F-ME BIG!

Bubbi decides she's done. Over it. Time to go. Ok, so I give Boo a 10 minute warning. In the meantime, Bubbi throws herself on the floor and conducts a no-joke 10 minute tantrum. I just let her while I talk to other moms and occasionally mouth "two year old" or "nap time" to staring passerbys.

Ten minutes later I tell Boo time to go (with a one minute warning before of course). He FLIPS OUT.

Really? They are really both going to do this to me? Awesome!!!

I pull kicking and screaming Bubbi off the floor and try to carry her flailing body in one arm and Boo in the other.

No go.

We make it to the parking lot and both kids drop to the floor kicking and screaming. Boo's shoe is off and all he wants me to do is hold him...after I put his shoe back on. Bubbi just wants to freak out, kick and scream and generally act like a tired two year old from hell.

A few minutes later of me not making it anywhere and this ANGEL (with strollered 2 year old twins of her own) offers to help. I say, "PLEASE!"

She takes kicking and screaming Boo with both hands while I have kicking and screaming Bubbi in one hand and I push the stroller with the other. We get to my car and Bubbi is COVERED IN BLOOD!!!!


I thank the lady and she bolts. I lock Boo in the car (he's totally freaked out now - yes, even more than before - since a stranger just carried him 15 yards) so I can see why the hell Bubbi is bleeding.

Turns out to be her gums. Cut them or something at some point during her freak out. I fight to strap her sorry butt in the car then get Boo in.

We leave. THANK GOD!

Monday, August 8

Ditching a twin

Boo is starting preschool NEXT WEEK and I am starting to FREAK OUT! The large majority of my anxiety is of course that my baby, my first baby, is starting school. This is the beginning of the rest of his life without me. Yes dramatic, but you cannot say it isn't true.

Back to the subject at hand. So now that Boo will be going to school twice a week, Bubbi will be in sorts left behind. Yes, I know this is a great time to spend some good regular one on one time with her for the first time. This is going to be a good thing...eventually.

However, it is going to suck.

Bubbi has had Boo figuratively up her ass since the day she was born. The eight times (yes, I know exactly how many times) she has been separated from Boo have been somewhat stressful for her.

One time poor Bubbi had to stay home while Boo got to go to a baseball game with grammy and papa. THE ENTIRE FIVE HOURS were spent randomly asking about him and confirming he would be coming home.
The next time mommy and Bubbi had a girls day while Boo and daddy had a boys day. We're enjoying lunch and all she can do is confirm that we'll see Boo when we go home.

Six more times, same situations. You get the point. And beyond asking for him, she acts completely different. In some aspects, she's great. She listens and behaves like a freaking ANGEL (I know...Bubbi an angel?). In other aspects, not so great. She is a shy, timid little flower. That's fine and all if a kid is a shy, timid flower...Bubbi is not and never has been. Without him she looses her self esteem or something. It is really quite sad to watch.

So as preschool begins, so does a new era for Bubbi...the ditched Irish twin. This is a good thing for her, it is just going to be a very defining period in her little life thus far....and mommy's....and Boo's. I hate change.

Wednesday, July 27

Bubbi's Closet: AFFORDABLE Petti romper

If you haven't seen a petti romper yet, you haven't lived! Lol - just kidding, but they are really stinkin cute.

Here is Bubbi in her pink one (she also has an aqua one).

Ok now let's talk price. You know I'm cheap. Most boutiques and boutique websites are listing these babies for over $40....OVER $40!! HELL NO!

Dollar Daisies has, from what I can tell, the EXACT same ones for.....are you ready....$8. That's right people, only $8. Like I said, in the photos online it would appear they are all coming from the same manufacturer. Mine, from Dollar Daisies, came with no label inside. I'm assuming that is so any seller can add their own (and jack up the price).

So, yes, my daughter looks like a freaking baby super model and no, I didn't spend an arm and a leg for her latest outfit. Happy shopping!

Saturday, July 23

Just Call CPS: Unknown Amounts of Unknown Pills

Frst of all, sorry for my abesense. Family drama has brought me to and from Arizon (a two hour flight costing just over $600 round trip when bought last minute) TWICE in the past week.

Anywho, as my life has been too insane to even blog lately, it hasn't got any less, well, exciting and f-ing dramatic.

So I'm on the phone fighting with my husband (yay) and Bubbi is in my master bathroom in my site...ok, well I wasn't staring at her but I could see her if I actually pointed my eyes in her direction. My house is pretty darn baby proof because I can't be a hawk (be it having two young kids or my failure as a mother...your call).

Bubbi was right next to an "empty" suitcase that I had emptied myself. I borrowed it from my mother.

Scream! I run over and Bubbi is screaming and spitting out white stuff.

"What did you eat!?!?!?!"
Bubbi runs over and hands me two pieces of a slightly chewed up pill. I scream for my mom and she runs downstairs. I run for the phone and the fridge to call Poison Control (though at this point I really should memorize the number or just add it to speed dial). MOTHER F-ER MAGNET IS GONE!

Ok, stay calm. I get the number off the Internet and call. I tell them what I know, which isn't much.

"Yes...she's 2...um, my mom says she thinks the pill she spit out was Paxil....ok, good to know Paxil isn't bad...what else? Not sure they would be my mom's....MOM! What else could have been in there!??"

My mom walks up with two more pills she found loose in the suitcase. Heart meds. I tell the lady on the phone and tell her my mom has a long list of what else could have been in there. She says get to the closest ER so I run to find my keys.

GONE. No keys because I have no car. Let a friend borrow it.

F ME! Have to call said husband I was just on the phone arguing with. He shows up in minutes (piiiiiissed off). We head to the ER.

After four hours of observation, it turns out she didn't eat anything and the pill she did slightly chew was indeed "harmless" Paxil. Awesome.

Bubbi was a champ getting her vitals checked every thirty minutes until 10 pm. 

We started to get bored. She was obviously fine, but we were not leaving until the doctor was sure she was ok.

Now getting really bored...playing with the foam hand sanitizer.... 

The last thirty minutes before they let us go, we wandered the halls to stop her from bouncing off the walls. Here she found an almost dead beetle. Very exciting.