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If you're looking for me to brag about how cute my kids are (which they are) or talk about how much weight I did or didn't lose this week, you are in the wrong place! I have a Facebook account for that. This blog is about the blunt truths of parenting, tips and tricks of the trade, some addicting mommy junk and all the other disgusting hilarity that ensues when you have kids...especially two kids only 12 months apart like myself.

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Friday, March 25

Eating Disorders: My eating disorder and my kids

When I was in 7th grade my parents moved me from San Diego to Sacramento due to a job change. I had never changed schools or moved in my entire life. I had never even been to Sacramento! My plane took off in downtown San Diego and landed in...COW FIELDS!?!? WTF? My life is over!

I had never dieted or even thought about my weight. I dealt with the stress of the move by eating and duh, gained weight. Now plump and depressed without any control over my life, I developed anorexia. At one point I consumed less than 100 calories a day. After reading about bulimia in a health book several months, I switched it up and became bulimic. I would take up to 90 laxatives a day. I lived like this on and off through the later half junior high and most of high school until I got the help I needed.

I see eating disorders as being a life-long battle, like alcoholism...always recovering. I have been "clean" of crazy calorie restriction or purging since high school/over a decade. However, the disease still haunts me and I fear how it may effect my kids.

I truly believe my eating disorder stemmed from a perfect storm of lack of control and social pressures to look premenstrual in a very critical time in my life (right about 13 years old...early teens is critical parents).

So here I am, an adult with two kids who of course, doesn't want her kids to go through what she did. I try to be on my very best behavior with my eating attitudes and vocabulary (saying things are "bad" for you as opposed to "those will make you fat"...I'm not a total idiot so don't worry).

Beyond not imposing my issues on my kids, I plan to try and shelter them from media pressures....though this is only temporary as it is impossible. I only let them watch commercial free television right now (easy with toady's kids networks...I just record the shows and skip the commercials in between programs). Game plan on how to prevent media pressures to be skinny is a work in progress.

My most important thought here is something I believe can truly start the prevention process now if I follow through, and that is providing my children with a sense of control in their lives. I try and give my kids simple choices throughout the day to let them feel in control of their lives...think "do you want to wear this shirt or this shirt"...."do you want to read books first or play with the rocket first". These may seem insignificant, but they give children a sense of power and control over themselves, key to building healthy, confident little people and then adults. I got this trip from Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years. They have a whole series for all ages, but honestly I still need to fully read the one I have (I told you, trash tv please!).

I will be posting more on this topic as I research it and learn vital information to protect our children from the emotional and physical turmoil I went through. If you have any great information regarding this, please email it to me. Thank you!

1 comment:

Julie said...

Hey Ramona,

Interesting that you should be talking about the Love and Logic method, because I have recently learned about this, and I have been using it with my nephew (he is 6.)

It has been working great, so far. He doesn't like the choices he has sometimes, but its good for him to make the decision himself.

I didn't realize you were going through so much in high school, but I'm glad you're now recovering and learning from those experiences. Thats more than we can say for many people. Good for you, girl.