Before I had kids I truly believed people who beat their kids or shook their babies were monsters. Now that I have two of my own I know that many are not monsters, but perhaps uneducated or lack resources. After being beyond sleep deprived and with Bubbi being less than 6 weeks old with her first cold, I gained some raw insight into the truth about shaken babies. Don't worry, I didn't shake her! I know not to shake babies. I know that when I've reached my limit I set the baby down in a safe place and walk out of the room. I know that if I am not capable of walking back into that room any time soon I call for help (daddy, mother-in-law, neighbor even) and take a much needed nap or simply a shower. Insert single mom with no local help or money to pay for a sitter...stuck alone in her apartment with a newborn baby who hasn't allowed her to sleep for weeks and possibly a few more kids. No help, no end in site. I can see it happening. Doesn't make it right, but it is a conceivable action.
Ok now let us look at another age. Now I was never tempted to shake my little babies even though I could see how someone might. Beating the crap out of my two year old? Now that has been a bit more tempting! After a long day of testing me and literally doing everything he could to piss me off and push every button he could find (basically acting his age), I asked Boo if he wanted me to hit him. He said, "YES!" OMG take a deeeeeep breath and walk away. This is a great time to literally lock yourself in a room away from him for a few minutes while chanting, "he's acting his age, he's acting his age...." It is also a great time to ring your mother-in-law and confirm some free sitting ASAP so you can enjoy the luxury of um, say, grocery shopping alone! Maybe even call daddy and make sure he'll be home on time so you can run to your friends home that evening to enjoy a glass (or five) of wine.
I am extremely lucky to have a helpful mother-in-law and afford the luxury of some intermittent childcare when I need a break. Not all moms can. Always know you have a friend that WILL help you if you truly need the help...just ask!!! Also, there are these amazing services for parents call crisis nurseries where you can drop off your child/ren for 24 hours to 30 days for free. They also offer counseling and assist families in utilizing local resources. All services are 100% confidential. Every major city most likely has one. I have included a link below to my local organization, but just google "crisis nursery <your city name>" and I'm sure you'll find one. Don't need one like me? They are always taking volunteers!
http://www.crisisnurseryonline.com/index.htm
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