OUCH! That's all I can say....
After Boo was born I had no pain with orgasm. It can mostly be assumed because I didn't have any!!! Edward Scissor Head tore me terribly and the conception of Bubbi over two months later was just barely tolerable.
Fast forward to Bubbi. No tears!!! Though I secretly hoped she wouldn't, my OB approved sex at the standard six weeks.
Eventually I enjoyed sex again (crazy, huh? two babies later...) and inevitably, had an orgasm.
HOLY CRAP! Why am I having advanced labor sized contractions!!?!
Every time I had a good time I was literally doubled over in pain for five to ten minutes. Every. Time.
Like several other post-pregnancy issues, this too passed. But holy crap, no one told me about this!! And it really sucked....so FYI.
Showing posts with label new moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new moms. Show all posts
Friday, July 1
Monday, April 25
Random Rants: Stiches from childbirth
Even though many people warned me of some of the down side to having new babies, no one told me how ITCHY the stitches healing "down there" would be!!!
Now, I had heard everything from "its better to tear than get an episiotomy" to "you'll be so sleep deprived"...no one ever told me about how terribly itchy I would be if I needed stitches!
Boo was Edward Scissor Head and tore me four terrible directions. Recovering was itchy hell until all four 2 inches stitches fell out...about six weeks after he was born. Thank god I didn't need any stitches with Bubbi! Healing was a breeze.
So mommies to be....plan on being VERY F-ING ITCHY if you need a butt load of stitches like I did. Just a friendly heads up! Supposedly hemorrhoid pads (yes, on your bruised and beaten vag) can help, but no one told me so I just suffered.
Good luck with that one ladies!
Now, I had heard everything from "its better to tear than get an episiotomy" to "you'll be so sleep deprived"...no one ever told me about how terribly itchy I would be if I needed stitches!
Boo was Edward Scissor Head and tore me four terrible directions. Recovering was itchy hell until all four 2 inches stitches fell out...about six weeks after he was born. Thank god I didn't need any stitches with Bubbi! Healing was a breeze.
So mommies to be....plan on being VERY F-ING ITCHY if you need a butt load of stitches like I did. Just a friendly heads up! Supposedly hemorrhoid pads (yes, on your bruised and beaten vag) can help, but no one told me so I just suffered.
Good luck with that one ladies!
Saturday, April 23
And then there was Bubbi...
I've said it, being pregnant sucks (or at least sucked for me). What's worse? Being pregnant when you have a kid (or an infant like me...remember Boo was only 3 months old when I found out I was pregnant with Bubbi)!
Even though I didn't "work" while pregnant with Bubbi, I got waaay less rest than when I was pregnant the first time. No coming home from work at 5:30 and crashing on the couch. No deciding that Saturdays and Sundays were for beaching myself in my Lazyboy recliner with the remote. No, Boo needed to be changed, fed and played with no matter what day of the week it was.
So now I lost the only good thing about being pregnant to me, and that was sitting on my pregnant ass and being treated like a princesses. Boo didn't care! He even made me carry him up and down the stairs through the whole pregnancy (no, he was not a super baby and couldn't walk at 3 months old...wtf?). And yes, I lifted the 30 pound stroller in and out of the car even at nine months pregnant (gasp! a first time pregnant woman would probably expect to spontaneous miscarriage if they did such a thing).
The good thing? I only gained 21 pounds even though I ate anything and everything I wanted (gained 37 with Boo and that was with counting calories and going to the gym). So it had its upside...I guess.
The last few weeks of my pregnancy were torture! I cried everyday just praying for her to come and end my insanity. I checked the mirror several times a day to see if my stomach became a road map (I didn't).
I lost sleep at night over the fear of having to love a second child when I loved Boo so much. How much was he going to regress? Would he ever forgive me? Would he hate her and try to smother her to death? So many worries and discomforts!
Finally, on the night of Boo's first birthday, I went into labor. I came out of the bathroom and told hubby we might need to call 911 because there was so much blood. He just laughed and said he got a pretty good view last time and lots of blood was normal.
We got to the hospital and they put me in their stupid observation room and left me there for an hour! They finally come back and were like, "Oh we need to admit you." NO SHIT!
So I'm in excruciating pain and want my epidural (no all-natural here...I'm a puss...no shame), but they insist on giving my IV first and confirmed I didn't feel any pressure (I felt tons of pressure but no way in hell was anybody going to tell me I was too far along for an epidural).
Well, my blood pressure drops (it's low usually and both pregnancies made it go too low several times) and they can't find a vein. Then I almost pass out from the needles so Bubbi's heart rate drops too low and they need to give me juice and wait...THREE MORE TRIES WITH THE NEEDLED!
Finally they bring in the pro and get me hooked up and give me my amazing drugs. As soon as the epidural is in, I let the nurse know I was lying and did feel tons of pressure, like, a flipping hour ago before all this drama. She gives me a smirk and checks me...an 8.5+.
And what happens? The epidural totally stalled my labor..THANK GOD! I so needed some time to watch TV and read a magazine after all that pain...plus I knew the impending doom that is a newborn!
Bubbi was born five hours after my epidural. I pushed her out in 5 minutes with no stitches (healing was a breeze with her...nothing like the crap I went through after Boo was born).
My daddy, mother-in-law and Boo came to meet the new princess a few hours later. Boo was terrified of me in the hospital bed and barely interested in his new sister. I was totally distraught.
The next day we went home and began the second part of our adventure in parenting...Bubbi and Boo makes two!
Even though I didn't "work" while pregnant with Bubbi, I got waaay less rest than when I was pregnant the first time. No coming home from work at 5:30 and crashing on the couch. No deciding that Saturdays and Sundays were for beaching myself in my Lazyboy recliner with the remote. No, Boo needed to be changed, fed and played with no matter what day of the week it was.
So now I lost the only good thing about being pregnant to me, and that was sitting on my pregnant ass and being treated like a princesses. Boo didn't care! He even made me carry him up and down the stairs through the whole pregnancy (no, he was not a super baby and couldn't walk at 3 months old...wtf?). And yes, I lifted the 30 pound stroller in and out of the car even at nine months pregnant (gasp! a first time pregnant woman would probably expect to spontaneous miscarriage if they did such a thing).
The good thing? I only gained 21 pounds even though I ate anything and everything I wanted (gained 37 with Boo and that was with counting calories and going to the gym). So it had its upside...I guess.
The last few weeks of my pregnancy were torture! I cried everyday just praying for her to come and end my insanity. I checked the mirror several times a day to see if my stomach became a road map (I didn't).
I lost sleep at night over the fear of having to love a second child when I loved Boo so much. How much was he going to regress? Would he ever forgive me? Would he hate her and try to smother her to death? So many worries and discomforts!
Finally, on the night of Boo's first birthday, I went into labor. I came out of the bathroom and told hubby we might need to call 911 because there was so much blood. He just laughed and said he got a pretty good view last time and lots of blood was normal.
We got to the hospital and they put me in their stupid observation room and left me there for an hour! They finally come back and were like, "Oh we need to admit you." NO SHIT!
So I'm in excruciating pain and want my epidural (no all-natural here...I'm a puss...no shame), but they insist on giving my IV first and confirmed I didn't feel any pressure (I felt tons of pressure but no way in hell was anybody going to tell me I was too far along for an epidural).
Well, my blood pressure drops (it's low usually and both pregnancies made it go too low several times) and they can't find a vein. Then I almost pass out from the needles so Bubbi's heart rate drops too low and they need to give me juice and wait...THREE MORE TRIES WITH THE NEEDLED!
Finally they bring in the pro and get me hooked up and give me my amazing drugs. As soon as the epidural is in, I let the nurse know I was lying and did feel tons of pressure, like, a flipping hour ago before all this drama. She gives me a smirk and checks me...an 8.5+.
And what happens? The epidural totally stalled my labor..THANK GOD! I so needed some time to watch TV and read a magazine after all that pain...plus I knew the impending doom that is a newborn!
Bubbi was born five hours after my epidural. I pushed her out in 5 minutes with no stitches (healing was a breeze with her...nothing like the crap I went through after Boo was born).
My daddy, mother-in-law and Boo came to meet the new princess a few hours later. Boo was terrified of me in the hospital bed and barely interested in his new sister. I was totally distraught.
The next day we went home and began the second part of our adventure in parenting...Bubbi and Boo makes two!
Wednesday, April 20
Wordless Wednesday: Gogurt oops
Boo apparently had some gogurt shoot out accidentally (believe me it was not on purpose as gogurt is very special to him).
This is what I walked up to see...
As you can see, Bubbi could care less as she is too busy eating her gogurt...
Once I finished cleaning Bubbi off, I saw this...
And yes, I was yelling for him to stop as I was taking the picture. Terrible mom. Oh well, hilarious!
Tuesday, April 12
Just Call CPS: I am only one
Kids get hurt. It happens. Still a sad sight when it does!
This past weekend we went to a quaint little town as a family. Daddy wanted to run into a delicate trinket store, a no go for the kids.
So the kids and I spent a few minutes alone like we do every other day of our lives when daddy works. Unfortunately, things went bad quickly.
Bubbi fell and scraped her shin and knee. No biggie. Time to head to the car anyways as daddy would only be a few minutes. So I buckle Bubbi into her seat and clean her scrapes.
Boo is directed to hold onto the chain in between two metal posts. He is within arms reach and I can see him out of the corner of my eye. He is a good listener and only needs to wait while I quickly clean Bubbi's leg before I buckle him in on the other side.
Thud, scream and Boo is gone from the corner of my eye!!!
AHHH! I look over to see Boo getting off the floor with asphalt nastiness in his hair. He's trying to cry, but doing that gasping for air thing. Poor dude must have flipped over the top of the chain he was "holding" on to. Ok, mommy kiss it better.
Then he turns up to look at me and this is what I see...
This past weekend we went to a quaint little town as a family. Daddy wanted to run into a delicate trinket store, a no go for the kids.
So the kids and I spent a few minutes alone like we do every other day of our lives when daddy works. Unfortunately, things went bad quickly.
Bubbi fell and scraped her shin and knee. No biggie. Time to head to the car anyways as daddy would only be a few minutes. So I buckle Bubbi into her seat and clean her scrapes.
Boo is directed to hold onto the chain in between two metal posts. He is within arms reach and I can see him out of the corner of my eye. He is a good listener and only needs to wait while I quickly clean Bubbi's leg before I buckle him in on the other side.
Thud, scream and Boo is gone from the corner of my eye!!!
AHHH! I look over to see Boo getting off the floor with asphalt nastiness in his hair. He's trying to cry, but doing that gasping for air thing. Poor dude must have flipped over the top of the chain he was "holding" on to. Ok, mommy kiss it better.
Then he turns up to look at me and this is what I see...
Holy crap! A goose egg from hell that is bleeding!!! WHERE IS DADDY! NEED ASSISTANCE!
I console Boo and wait for what seemed like hours (less than five minutes) until daddy comes to the car (champ Boo had stopped crying after only a minute or two). The minute he walks up I burst into tears. He sees the damage and runs to a restaurant to grab Boo some ice.
Boo's fine. Bubbi ate it over a pile of sticks an hour later and gashed up the same leg a little more before we made it to the safety of home (and pants). Mommy needed a drink. Long day. Being only one person, one mommy with more than one kid, can be rough...for everyone!
Monday, April 11
Let's Teach Together: The ABCs
Ok parents. We all know how hard it is to try and teach our kids everything we want to because of well, life! You have more than one kid or your house is dirty or you need to go to the gym or you work full time...lots of not valid, but real excuses! Maybe you have the best intentions, but you get overwhelmed with trying to teach your child ALL the letters or ALL the colors at once.
This is what I do at home and I thought you may all like to join me as we are just starting over!
I do a letter a week. I go in alphabetical order and then start over. I have these super cute Nerdy Baby ABC Flashcards for Very Young Scientists
that I use along with your standard magnet alphabet letters. You can by nice ones like Melissa & Doug Magnetic Wooden Alphabet or the cheap ones from your local Dollar Store (just don't let your younger children play with the cheap ones because they have exposed tiny magnets in the back that can pop out and be a chocking hazard).
This is how you do it. Monday morning you show your child/ren the flashcard and letter of the week. Tell them the letter and have them repeat. Say a few nouns that start with the letter (think airplane instead of amazing...much easier for young children to understand nouns, parents). Put it on the fridge and continue your life. Every morning point out and say the letter. Every time you see that letter (ok, maybe not every time) throughout the week on a sign you are walking by or in a book you read, point it out.
Next week, go onto the next letter and so on.
No child is too young for this. You read to your newborn, may as well engage them more by pointing out some letters...plus it might keep the new, first time mom from going as insane! If your child is older, consider adding a vocabulary word or a multiplication family (think 2 x 1, 2 x 2, 2 x 3 etc).
Teaching your child in this non forceful, no stress manner will give your child the knowledge they need to succeed and the confidence they need to thrive without the pressure to preform. It is the least we can do for our children.
This is what I do at home and I thought you may all like to join me as we are just starting over!
I do a letter a week. I go in alphabetical order and then start over. I have these super cute Nerdy Baby ABC Flashcards for Very Young Scientists
that I use along with your standard magnet alphabet letters. You can by nice ones like Melissa & Doug Magnetic Wooden Alphabet or the cheap ones from your local Dollar Store (just don't let your younger children play with the cheap ones because they have exposed tiny magnets in the back that can pop out and be a chocking hazard).
This is how you do it. Monday morning you show your child/ren the flashcard and letter of the week. Tell them the letter and have them repeat. Say a few nouns that start with the letter (think airplane instead of amazing...much easier for young children to understand nouns, parents). Put it on the fridge and continue your life. Every morning point out and say the letter. Every time you see that letter (ok, maybe not every time) throughout the week on a sign you are walking by or in a book you read, point it out.
Next week, go onto the next letter and so on.
No child is too young for this. You read to your newborn, may as well engage them more by pointing out some letters...plus it might keep the new, first time mom from going as insane! If your child is older, consider adding a vocabulary word or a multiplication family (think 2 x 1, 2 x 2, 2 x 3 etc).
Teaching your child in this non forceful, no stress manner will give your child the knowledge they need to succeed and the confidence they need to thrive without the pressure to preform. It is the least we can do for our children.
Friday, April 8
My Morning: Too much shopping
So today, like any other stay at home mom, I had to take the kids with me to run a few errands (so makes me miss my lunch breaks at work).
First stop Sam's Club, a warehouse membership store in my area. Kids did great. Well, Boo did great and Bubbi tried to stand up in the cart a few times...nothing too bad.
Next stop BabiesRUs. We tore the place up. I let them check out every isle of toys and cleaned up after them (though I must brag that they mostly put the toys back where they belonged when they were done...however most still leaves 49 out of 100 toys for mommy to pick up). Again, a little hectic but nothing too bad. Worst thing was probably Boo begging for stuff, something he just now started to do. Yuck.
Onto get new shoes. Why? Well, Boo lost ONE shoe to the brand new $30 ones I just bought him. So I bought cheap $5 ones...that TIE with LACES! STUPID! Now he can't do them by himself and he thinks its awesome to knot them. Bubbi like to completely unlace them every chance she gets.
So 2 weeks of having one pair of shoes that fits with laces, time to buy some new shoes.
Back to the store. The lady whips out the shoes sizer and Boo says "sissy first". Bubbi does like its, well, as painless as getting your damn foot sized. Boo? He runs away screaming and f-ing hides! Find him and try to get him to physically place his foot on the apparently flaming, man eating metal foot sizer while, you guessed it, Bubbi runs and hides. WTF?
Not even close to getting an acurate messurment for Boo, I drop him (oops, literally) and run to chase Bubbi down. I'm no joke that screaming mom in public that should never have had kids. I promise frozen yogurt to any child that sits in the stroller and behaves. So now everyone is in the stupid stroller.
I grab some flipping Crocs, try them on his feet and check out. Bubbi wiggles free and is again running a muck while I ditch my wallet and Boo to go chase her down, yes, again.
We leave. Thank god.
At this point I would have literally had to beat and bend the crap out of Bubbi to get her back in the seat so I let her walk holding my hand to the car. Almost there she pulls a fast one and runs to the curb to balance walk on it! AGAIN! AWESOME MOM!
Grab her shove the kids and the shoes in the car, warning Bubbi that if she has one more bad behavior she will not get her treat. As Boo tries to slide past her to get into his seat she dead locks him between her shoes and the chair. He's flipping out, but not screaming yet because she has the wind knocked out of him!
BUBBI! NO NO! NO TREAT!
She lets go and they both cry in unison. Yes, I am getting dirty looks from the old people who just parked next to me.
We drive through McDonald's to get Boo's "frozen yogurt" (really a fruit and yogurt parfait). Bubbi cries when she sees I really didn't get her one. I cry too because I feel so bad, but know she needs to start taking me seriously.
So I look back and this is what I see...
AHHH! What a mess! The really stupid part? I gave this to the kids just a few days ago in the car and they did the same thing! Why would I be so stupid as to do it twice, I don't know. I don't know.
And of course, here is Bubbi with her sad face sans her treat...
Tuesday, April 5
My Morning: I wanted Raisin Bran
I'm either brave, liberated or stupid, but I take a shower when the kids are up. I literally jump in, wash my face and body, and jump out (hair washing and shaving are for naps and bedtime).
This morning I gave Bubbi her breakfast (Boo woke up earlier and had finished his) and jumped in the shower. I came out to this...
Arrrg!!! Really?!?! Ok, deep breath, totally my fault for leaving her unattended for 2.3 minutes. Walk away, get dressed and then I'll deal with it.
On the way back to the bathroom I see this...
REALLY!?!? Eggs and ham in the carpet? Awesome! WALK AWAY QUICKLY!
I guess I missed the memo that she wanted Rasin Bran, not eggs and ham with toast, for breakfast. Silly mommy.
Thursday, March 31
Just Call CPS: Bubbi in the shower
Now I'm no idiot (insert laugh here)...I know kids can drown in even an inch of water so I would never leave them unattended in the bath, around an open toilet (especially nasty Bubbi who thinks they are splash pools) etc.
Sooo, being the bright person I am:
Bubbi, Boo and I were taking a family shower after Bubbi got her first UTI at around 15 months and the doctor suggested no more soap/shampoo etc in the bathtub. Easy enough. Boo, not so fond...Bubbi loves showers!
So we're having a nakey party in the shower and Boo has to go pee. Not wanting to confuse him as he was just starting to potty train (sure dude, pee in the shower), I took Boo to the pot and left Bubbi in the shower...just a few steps away.
He pees, we run back and HOLY CRAP!! Bubbi is seriously standing face up towards the water and struggling to get air! I get her out of the stream of water and she burps, pukes and cries. She's over it in a second and wants to go back in the shower.
WTF? Kids are really too stupid to turn their heads away from a stream of water?!?!?! Apparently.
Kind of reminds me of the myth that chickens and roosters are so stupid they drown in the rain because they keep looking up at it (apparently proved wrong by Mythbusters).
And moms like me are too stupid to think kids can only drown if there is water pooling somewhere (our shower has no tiny pools and drains like a champ)? Uh, yeah....RIGHT HERE!
So, be careful you stupid parents. Yes, kids are that dumb!
Sooo, being the bright person I am:
Bubbi, Boo and I were taking a family shower after Bubbi got her first UTI at around 15 months and the doctor suggested no more soap/shampoo etc in the bathtub. Easy enough. Boo, not so fond...Bubbi loves showers!
So we're having a nakey party in the shower and Boo has to go pee. Not wanting to confuse him as he was just starting to potty train (sure dude, pee in the shower), I took Boo to the pot and left Bubbi in the shower...just a few steps away.
He pees, we run back and HOLY CRAP!! Bubbi is seriously standing face up towards the water and struggling to get air! I get her out of the stream of water and she burps, pukes and cries. She's over it in a second and wants to go back in the shower.
WTF? Kids are really too stupid to turn their heads away from a stream of water?!?!?! Apparently.
Kind of reminds me of the myth that chickens and roosters are so stupid they drown in the rain because they keep looking up at it (apparently proved wrong by Mythbusters).
And moms like me are too stupid to think kids can only drown if there is water pooling somewhere (our shower has no tiny pools and drains like a champ)? Uh, yeah....RIGHT HERE!
So, be careful you stupid parents. Yes, kids are that dumb!
Monday, March 28
Vaccinations: What I did...wrong
So as a parent I'm sure you have heard about all the controversy that surrounds immunizations/vaccinations. If you haven't, google it because you should! Read this after you are a little less dense on such an important issue for your child/ren.
Having worked with an autistic girl for several years in college, I became terrified of the slough of vaccinations the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) recommends children get in the first few years of their lives. In the first two years of life, the CDC recommends three hepatitis B shots, three rotavirus shots, four DTaP shots (each one contains diphtheria, pertussis whooping cough and tetanus), four Hib shots, four pneumococcal/pneumonia shots, three polio shots, a flu shot, one MMR shot (contains measles, mumps and rubella), one varicella/chickenpox shot and two hepatitis A shots. That is TWENTY SIX SHOTS with a total of 36 viral/bacterial exposures (or whatever you would call it) to 14 different diseases.
Now let's look at the same CDC suggested schedule from the time many of us parents were getting immunized. In 1980, infants were vaccinated against four diseases -- diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis, and polio (http://www8.nationalacademies.org/onpinews/newsitem.aspx?RecordID=10306). FOUR. That's it...four different immunizations in comparison to the 14 they recommend today.
Yes, science has advanced to allow these. Yes, tons of lives have been saved.
The rate of autism appears to have gone up significantly since the 1980s (this is a very debated topic in itself as there has also been large changes in diagnostic practices). There is also the fact that the United States has what appears to be the largest prevalence of autism in the world. Who knows why...I'm serious. The catch to this whole post is I don't know...no one really knows what causes it or I wouldn't even need to write this damn book!.
Insert ten pages of conspiracy theory stating all the studies that have found no correlation between the shots and autism are funded by the people who make the vaccines...plus the fact that if the CDC said there was a correlation no one would get their kids immunized and we would see mass explosions of all these diseases throughout the United States and the rest of the world.
Though there was little evidence at the time my kids were born that supported the belief that autism is caused by the mass amounts of vaccinations young children get, I opted to skip all vaccinations for the first two years of life and then slowly catch up with the vaccines required by the school system. The one study that did provide strong statistical evidence of a link between vaccines and autism was just recently discovered to be a fraud.
So, I waited until Boo was two to begin immunizations. Why wait until the magic age of two? It is widely accepted that a large majority (estimated 80%) of a humans brain is developed by two years of age (no quote here....google it and you'll find it everywhere). Makes sense not to beat the crap out of a little brain until it has some good development under its belt.
I waited to get any immunizations until my kids were two, AND I WAS WRONG! I am very lucky neither of my precious angels died of some preventable disease. What would I have done differently? I think I would have followed the 1980s schedule for the first two years and then catch up one several of the vaccines on the current one.
I have several friends who went with the current CDC recommendations. I commend those who did their research first and still decided to go with the slough of shots. I commend those who did their research and followed a different schedule (a popular one is Dr. Sears alternative schedule). I still commend those who do their research and decide to wait like I did, for they did some research.
My point: Do your research on the subject and make the best decision for your family and child. Don't expect to get all the answers from your pediatrician (many have to follow company policies and state CDC standard schedule). If you don't go with the current recommendations, don't expect a lot of support from the pediatrician. And keep updated on current info!
Too lazy to research for yourself? Well, probably best to go with the current CDC recommendations. This is NOT medical advice, just my thoughts on an issue that is near and dear to my heart. Love you Molly!
Having worked with an autistic girl for several years in college, I became terrified of the slough of vaccinations the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) recommends children get in the first few years of their lives. In the first two years of life, the CDC recommends three hepatitis B shots, three rotavirus shots, four DTaP shots (each one contains diphtheria, pertussis whooping cough and tetanus), four Hib shots, four pneumococcal/pneumonia shots, three polio shots, a flu shot, one MMR shot (contains measles, mumps and rubella), one varicella/chickenpox shot and two hepatitis A shots. That is TWENTY SIX SHOTS with a total of 36 viral/bacterial exposures (or whatever you would call it) to 14 different diseases.
Now let's look at the same CDC suggested schedule from the time many of us parents were getting immunized. In 1980, infants were vaccinated against four diseases -- diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis, and polio (http://www8.nationalacademies.org/onpinews/newsitem.aspx?RecordID=10306). FOUR. That's it...four different immunizations in comparison to the 14 they recommend today.
Yes, science has advanced to allow these. Yes, tons of lives have been saved.
The rate of autism appears to have gone up significantly since the 1980s (this is a very debated topic in itself as there has also been large changes in diagnostic practices). There is also the fact that the United States has what appears to be the largest prevalence of autism in the world. Who knows why...I'm serious. The catch to this whole post is I don't know...no one really knows what causes it or I wouldn't even need to write this damn book!.
Insert ten pages of conspiracy theory stating all the studies that have found no correlation between the shots and autism are funded by the people who make the vaccines...plus the fact that if the CDC said there was a correlation no one would get their kids immunized and we would see mass explosions of all these diseases throughout the United States and the rest of the world.
Though there was little evidence at the time my kids were born that supported the belief that autism is caused by the mass amounts of vaccinations young children get, I opted to skip all vaccinations for the first two years of life and then slowly catch up with the vaccines required by the school system. The one study that did provide strong statistical evidence of a link between vaccines and autism was just recently discovered to be a fraud.
So, I waited until Boo was two to begin immunizations. Why wait until the magic age of two? It is widely accepted that a large majority (estimated 80%) of a humans brain is developed by two years of age (no quote here....google it and you'll find it everywhere). Makes sense not to beat the crap out of a little brain until it has some good development under its belt.
I waited to get any immunizations until my kids were two, AND I WAS WRONG! I am very lucky neither of my precious angels died of some preventable disease. What would I have done differently? I think I would have followed the 1980s schedule for the first two years and then catch up one several of the vaccines on the current one.
I have several friends who went with the current CDC recommendations. I commend those who did their research first and still decided to go with the slough of shots. I commend those who did their research and followed a different schedule (a popular one is Dr. Sears alternative schedule). I still commend those who do their research and decide to wait like I did, for they did some research.
My point: Do your research on the subject and make the best decision for your family and child. Don't expect to get all the answers from your pediatrician (many have to follow company policies and state CDC standard schedule). If you don't go with the current recommendations, don't expect a lot of support from the pediatrician. And keep updated on current info!
Too lazy to research for yourself? Well, probably best to go with the current CDC recommendations. This is NOT medical advice, just my thoughts on an issue that is near and dear to my heart. Love you Molly!
Saturday, March 26
Diary of neurotic mom: Alcoholism, please
Let me quickly start that I would like to call this section "Diary of a neurotic mommy", but Boo, Mr. J Cool himself, calls me mom more than mommy...so mom it is. Another note, I am neurotic. If you know me well, you will have thought "no shit". Thanks for the love.
Wikipedia defines Neurosis as a class of functional mental disorders involving distress but neither delusions nor hallucinations, whereby behavior is not outside socially acceptable norms. OMG I really am neurotic?!? Hard for me to believe most moms aren't to a certain extent, but that's just my opinion.
Ok, to the post.
Ever since I was pregnant with Bubbi, my second, I often found myself having to consciously choose to not be an alcoholic. Of course it wasn't an option when I was pregnant, but I did think several times a week, "thank god I'm pregnant because this would be the ideal time to become an alcoholic".
Now that my body is mine, the option to become an alcoholic is continually appealing. Especially after last night! Boo, my long-time champion sleeper, has been waking up at night and keeping me up for an hour plus (long story not meant for this post...this one is about the mommies dammit).
Wake up this morning at 8 am after being awake from 2:15 am to about 4:30 am. Grumpy and feel what I can only describe as hungover (no, I took no meds or drank no booze in the last 24 hours). First thought? Oh how wonderful it would be to pop a xanax and chase it down with a fish-bowl sized glass of red wine!
Now there would have been a time when I kept this desire (that's all it is...a desire that will never be acted upon because, well, I enjoy having custody of my kids...usually) to myself. However, a friend posted a jest on Facebook yesterday referring to stay-at-home moms taking valium. The responses were hilarious ranging from calling valium "mother's-little-helper" to stating "I'm on the wine train" and "choo choo"!
My point? If you wake up and find yourself ashamed that you want to start the day with a hardcore sedative and/or a bottle of tequila, don't! Not saying you should act on it...at least not every day.
Wikipedia defines Neurosis as a class of functional mental disorders involving distress but neither delusions nor hallucinations, whereby behavior is not outside socially acceptable norms. OMG I really am neurotic?!? Hard for me to believe most moms aren't to a certain extent, but that's just my opinion.
Ok, to the post.
Ever since I was pregnant with Bubbi, my second, I often found myself having to consciously choose to not be an alcoholic. Of course it wasn't an option when I was pregnant, but I did think several times a week, "thank god I'm pregnant because this would be the ideal time to become an alcoholic".
Now that my body is mine, the option to become an alcoholic is continually appealing. Especially after last night! Boo, my long-time champion sleeper, has been waking up at night and keeping me up for an hour plus (long story not meant for this post...this one is about the mommies dammit).
Wake up this morning at 8 am after being awake from 2:15 am to about 4:30 am. Grumpy and feel what I can only describe as hungover (no, I took no meds or drank no booze in the last 24 hours). First thought? Oh how wonderful it would be to pop a xanax and chase it down with a fish-bowl sized glass of red wine!
Now there would have been a time when I kept this desire (that's all it is...a desire that will never be acted upon because, well, I enjoy having custody of my kids...usually) to myself. However, a friend posted a jest on Facebook yesterday referring to stay-at-home moms taking valium. The responses were hilarious ranging from calling valium "mother's-little-helper" to stating "I'm on the wine train" and "choo choo"!
My point? If you wake up and find yourself ashamed that you want to start the day with a hardcore sedative and/or a bottle of tequila, don't! Not saying you should act on it...at least not every day.
Thursday, March 24
Kids can ruin your marriage: From 2 months to the 2nd pregnancy...
We left off with no sex and no sleep with a tired, abused body for the wife. Husband's day to day is quite similar to before kids with work etc while the wife stays home with a new baby and what's left of her body (I know this sides with the wife, I'm trying husbands...).
Both wife and husband are somewhat over the shock in the abrupt change in their lives. In my house, sleep was returning as by two months, my little Boo was sleeping about 10.5 hours straight (feel free to virtually shoot me, I know...what an awesome baby).
Now the wife, mommy, is finally really adjusting and feeling this whole mommy thing (as well as physically returning to a human as opposed to an abused host to a possessed watermelon). Seeing her husband, daddy, hold the baby warms her heart. Daddy feels the same when he sees his wife in her maternal state...in the back of his mind he sees his new position in life as baby first, husband second. Marital stress!
And now the sex pressure comes back. Right around that time I had finally been cleared for sex, though it was still very painful and low on my to-do list (I am 100% healed now for all you terrified moms to be). We finally did it...once. Poor husband wants to return to more life as usual (aka before kids) in the bedroom, while wife is so not there yet! Marital stress!
Me? Well, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later...yes, Boo was only 3 months old when we found out we were going to have another baby one night shy of an immaculate conception! AND CRAP! Be pregnant for another lame nine months! MORE MARITAL STRESS!
Both wife and husband are somewhat over the shock in the abrupt change in their lives. In my house, sleep was returning as by two months, my little Boo was sleeping about 10.5 hours straight (feel free to virtually shoot me, I know...what an awesome baby).
Now the wife, mommy, is finally really adjusting and feeling this whole mommy thing (as well as physically returning to a human as opposed to an abused host to a possessed watermelon). Seeing her husband, daddy, hold the baby warms her heart. Daddy feels the same when he sees his wife in her maternal state...in the back of his mind he sees his new position in life as baby first, husband second. Marital stress!
And now the sex pressure comes back. Right around that time I had finally been cleared for sex, though it was still very painful and low on my to-do list (I am 100% healed now for all you terrified moms to be). We finally did it...once. Poor husband wants to return to more life as usual (aka before kids) in the bedroom, while wife is so not there yet! Marital stress!
Me? Well, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later...yes, Boo was only 3 months old when we found out we were going to have another baby one night shy of an immaculate conception! AND CRAP! Be pregnant for another lame nine months! MORE MARITAL STRESS!
Wednesday, March 23
Book Review: Skinny Bitch
Let me start by prefacing that I am NOT a reader and I sure as hell am not a dieter! I read a few books a year max as I much prefer the net and trash TV (I'm sure my IQ reflects it so I will not be testing it anytime soon).
So onto the book, Skinny Bitch: A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want to Stop Eating Crap and Start Looking Fabulous! by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin....two totally skinny bitches. Here's a pic.
This book is VERY easy to read and is packed with flipping hilarious snappy comments and ideas throughout. The overall idea is to go natural vegan. It is waaay too extreme of a lifestyle for me, but has some very intriguing ideas that makes sense to me and a few tips and trick I choose to follow.
Here are some of my fave experts...I could seriously quote the whole book!
"Cigarettes are for losers. They are so 1989 and totally uncool. Not only do they screw up your whole body chemistry, they also kill your taste buds. It's no wonder you eat shit and garbage. Smoking's out. Give it up."
"Soda is liquid Satan....high levels of phosphorous can increase calcium loss..., as can its sodium and caffeine...And last time we checked, sugar...does not make you skinny! Now don't go patting yourself on the back if you drink diet soda. That stuff is even worse. Aspartame...has been blamed for a slew of scary maladies, like arthritis, birth defects, fibromyalgia, Alzheimer's, lupus, multiple sclerosis, and diabetes. When methyl alcohol, a component of aspartame, enters your body, it turns into formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is toxic and carcinogenic (cancer-causing). Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it."
"Coffee is for pussies...If you can't wake up without it, it's because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived, or a generally unhealthy slob...[even decaf] is highly acidic. Acidic foods cause your body to produce fat cells."
“Whenever you see the words ‘fat-free’ or ‘low-fat’, think of the words ‘chemical shit storm’.”
"Sucralose (Spelnda) has been found to cause diarrhea; organ, genetic, immune system and reproductive damage; swelling of the liver and kidneys; and a decrease in fetal body weight."
So onto the book, Skinny Bitch: A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want to Stop Eating Crap and Start Looking Fabulous! by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin....two totally skinny bitches. Here's a pic.
This book is VERY easy to read and is packed with flipping hilarious snappy comments and ideas throughout. The overall idea is to go natural vegan. It is waaay too extreme of a lifestyle for me, but has some very intriguing ideas that makes sense to me and a few tips and trick I choose to follow.
Here are some of my fave experts...I could seriously quote the whole book!
"Cigarettes are for losers. They are so 1989 and totally uncool. Not only do they screw up your whole body chemistry, they also kill your taste buds. It's no wonder you eat shit and garbage. Smoking's out. Give it up."
"Soda is liquid Satan....high levels of phosphorous can increase calcium loss..., as can its sodium and caffeine...And last time we checked, sugar...does not make you skinny! Now don't go patting yourself on the back if you drink diet soda. That stuff is even worse. Aspartame...has been blamed for a slew of scary maladies, like arthritis, birth defects, fibromyalgia, Alzheimer's, lupus, multiple sclerosis, and diabetes. When methyl alcohol, a component of aspartame, enters your body, it turns into formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is toxic and carcinogenic (cancer-causing). Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it."
"Coffee is for pussies...If you can't wake up without it, it's because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived, or a generally unhealthy slob...[even decaf] is highly acidic. Acidic foods cause your body to produce fat cells."
“Whenever you see the words ‘fat-free’ or ‘low-fat’, think of the words ‘chemical shit storm’.”
"Sucralose (Spelnda) has been found to cause diarrhea; organ, genetic, immune system and reproductive damage; swelling of the liver and kidneys; and a decrease in fetal body weight."
Tuesday, March 22
Kids can ruin your marriage: First few weeks after birth
Where did we leave off? Oh yes, both husband and wife are exhausted and full of emotions.
Hearing the nurse say we were being discharged from the hospital after Boo's birth was one of the most surreal moments of our lives. My husband and I looked at each other like, wow, they are sending us home with a baby? Are they sure we know what we're doing???
So we put Boo in the car seat and go home. We pull the car seat out of the car and set him in the middle of the living room and stare at him. Ok, this is really freaking weird!
Here is how it went for me: Breastfeeding sucked. It hurt and I just couldn't get it down right. I wanted to strangle my husband for every comment he made as supportive as it was....he didn't have to wake up every two hours and try to figure it out! What did he know?
After delivering Edward-Scissor-Head (Boo gave me FOUR nasty tears), I couldn't sit, stand, walk or lay comfortably for six to seven weeks. My body hurt and I stunk (from the hormones...and I sweat like a pig...thank god though because I had a lot of water weight to shed). This doesn't exactly make someone cheery and easy to get along with (poor wife AND poor husband).
My husband? Well, he looked a little tired. He got to go away to work (he went back to work after only a few days as he's self-employed) while I was stuck in the house with baby that only pooped and wanted to torture me via breastfeeding. Resentment officially set in.
Now, the biggest thing that put stress on our marriage for me was waking up, even after we switched to bottles, to a crying baby. Now how the hell could he possibly be sleeping? Nudge nudge...your turn dude. No response. Ok, I'll do it...AGAIN! He did have to work the next day and I "got to stay home with the baby" so I should do it anyways....grrr.
Basically the husbands life still slightly resembles his old one: sleep through the night, go to work... The wife? Every moment of life is different. No work. No sleep. Different body. For me, terrible skin for the first few weeks after Boo was born.
To top it off, ourconversations centered around baby poop and how much he was eating. Both of us were exhausted and grumpy. More marital stress as we try and adjust to our new lives wearing our new hats and mommy and daddy...oh yeah, and no sex for anyone!
To be continued...
Hearing the nurse say we were being discharged from the hospital after Boo's birth was one of the most surreal moments of our lives. My husband and I looked at each other like, wow, they are sending us home with a baby? Are they sure we know what we're doing???
So we put Boo in the car seat and go home. We pull the car seat out of the car and set him in the middle of the living room and stare at him. Ok, this is really freaking weird!
Here is how it went for me: Breastfeeding sucked. It hurt and I just couldn't get it down right. I wanted to strangle my husband for every comment he made as supportive as it was....he didn't have to wake up every two hours and try to figure it out! What did he know?
After delivering Edward-Scissor-Head (Boo gave me FOUR nasty tears), I couldn't sit, stand, walk or lay comfortably for six to seven weeks. My body hurt and I stunk (from the hormones...and I sweat like a pig...thank god though because I had a lot of water weight to shed). This doesn't exactly make someone cheery and easy to get along with (poor wife AND poor husband).
My husband? Well, he looked a little tired. He got to go away to work (he went back to work after only a few days as he's self-employed) while I was stuck in the house with baby that only pooped and wanted to torture me via breastfeeding. Resentment officially set in.
Now, the biggest thing that put stress on our marriage for me was waking up, even after we switched to bottles, to a crying baby. Now how the hell could he possibly be sleeping? Nudge nudge...your turn dude. No response. Ok, I'll do it...AGAIN! He did have to work the next day and I "got to stay home with the baby" so I should do it anyways....grrr.
Basically the husbands life still slightly resembles his old one: sleep through the night, go to work... The wife? Every moment of life is different. No work. No sleep. Different body. For me, terrible skin for the first few weeks after Boo was born.
To top it off, ourconversations centered around baby poop and how much he was eating. Both of us were exhausted and grumpy. More marital stress as we try and adjust to our new lives wearing our new hats and mommy and daddy...oh yeah, and no sex for anyone!
To be continued...
Monday, March 21
Kids can ruin your marriage: Conception to Delivery
Most marriages are in a good place when you decide to try and have kids (if you don't have a woops that is).
An early stress can come from the pressure of "baby making". Sex is no longer for pleasure, it has a purpose...and a time...and as time goes on without conception, a position....a time of day...a diet...hormone shots....testing etc. None of those are "good" for a marriage.
So now your pregnant with or without the stress of trying to conceive. If the wife is anything like me, life changes from the moment you find out your pregnant. The worry officially begins.
I'm going to miscarry. The baby is going to be deformed. The baby is going to be a freak because I didn't take the right vitamins or because I ate soft cheese or because I sat in the jacuzzi before I knew I was pregnant or because I drank...A LOT...before I knew I was pregnant....the insanity is OVERBEARING!
So now said wife is anxious and stressed for her unborn baby's future, not to mention pregnant (insert copious amount of hormones here)...and terrified for the physical changes to come.
Let's go to the husband. Financial stress of supporting a family, college funds and the like overwhelm his mind. The changes to his wife's body and mood are terrifying, but he is supposed to be the perfect, loving husband now more than ever and not show weakness. And sex? Well, that is just scary now...but still a natural male need...that's a problem! And what about his freedom and guys nights out?
Everything is about to change and the impending doom mixed with excitement and hundreds of other emotions can easily beat the crap out of a marriage.
Now we have 40 weeks of emotional roller coasters on both sides. Even assuming everything goes well with the pregnancy and baby, the couple is still under significant pressure of the impending changes about to come.
Wife goes into labor. Husband feels powerless. Wife gives birth. Husband gets a too close view of the process. My husbands response was, "that was THE most national geographic shit I've ever seen". Wife feels like she just gave birth (like crap, ok....you feel like crap right after you deliver your first baby) and both are exhausted and overwhelmed with emotions.
Now go home and play house with your new role as parents....to be continued.
An early stress can come from the pressure of "baby making". Sex is no longer for pleasure, it has a purpose...and a time...and as time goes on without conception, a position....a time of day...a diet...hormone shots....testing etc. None of those are "good" for a marriage.
So now your pregnant with or without the stress of trying to conceive. If the wife is anything like me, life changes from the moment you find out your pregnant. The worry officially begins.
I'm going to miscarry. The baby is going to be deformed. The baby is going to be a freak because I didn't take the right vitamins or because I ate soft cheese or because I sat in the jacuzzi before I knew I was pregnant or because I drank...A LOT...before I knew I was pregnant....the insanity is OVERBEARING!
So now said wife is anxious and stressed for her unborn baby's future, not to mention pregnant (insert copious amount of hormones here)...and terrified for the physical changes to come.
Let's go to the husband. Financial stress of supporting a family, college funds and the like overwhelm his mind. The changes to his wife's body and mood are terrifying, but he is supposed to be the perfect, loving husband now more than ever and not show weakness. And sex? Well, that is just scary now...but still a natural male need...that's a problem! And what about his freedom and guys nights out?
Everything is about to change and the impending doom mixed with excitement and hundreds of other emotions can easily beat the crap out of a marriage.
Now we have 40 weeks of emotional roller coasters on both sides. Even assuming everything goes well with the pregnancy and baby, the couple is still under significant pressure of the impending changes about to come.
Wife goes into labor. Husband feels powerless. Wife gives birth. Husband gets a too close view of the process. My husbands response was, "that was THE most national geographic shit I've ever seen". Wife feels like she just gave birth (like crap, ok....you feel like crap right after you deliver your first baby) and both are exhausted and overwhelmed with emotions.
Now go home and play house with your new role as parents....to be continued.
Saturday, March 19
Don't burn the baby!
So if you're nearly as anxious and worried about everything as I am, you will totally love this Black & Decker SDC850 SpaceMaker 8-Cup Coffeemaker with Thermal Carafe.
When Boo was just starting to crawl I watched an episode of America's Next Top Model where one of the models, Thalia, was terribly disfigured from burns all over her face and body. The culprit?
A COFFEEMAKER!!!
Before she was a year old, she pull a fresh pot of coffee/the coffeemaker off the counter and all over her precious face and body. She was very lucky to survive.
I was already terrified of this happening! I didn't drink coffee at the time because I was pregnant with Bubbi, but the husband did...and he was the one who couldn't remember for the life of him to push the darn thing back or make sure the cord wasn't hanging over the edge. More than that, Boo was capable of moving things to climb up but not cognisant enough to understand danger of items he could then access.
Then relief! We bought the Black & Decker SDC850 SpaceMaker 8-Cup Coffeemaker with Thermal Carafe. It has been a fabulous, reliable coffeemaker that we've used everyday since we bought it over two years ago....and one less HUGE thing to worry about! Plus we now have some extra counter space.
When Boo was just starting to crawl I watched an episode of America's Next Top Model where one of the models, Thalia, was terribly disfigured from burns all over her face and body. The culprit?
A COFFEEMAKER!!! Before she was a year old, she pull a fresh pot of coffee/the coffeemaker off the counter and all over her precious face and body. She was very lucky to survive.
I was already terrified of this happening! I didn't drink coffee at the time because I was pregnant with Bubbi, but the husband did...and he was the one who couldn't remember for the life of him to push the darn thing back or make sure the cord wasn't hanging over the edge. More than that, Boo was capable of moving things to climb up but not cognisant enough to understand danger of items he could then access.
Then relief! We bought the Black & Decker SDC850 SpaceMaker 8-Cup Coffeemaker with Thermal Carafe
. It has been a fabulous, reliable coffeemaker that we've used everyday since we bought it over two years ago....and one less HUGE thing to worry about! Plus we now have some extra counter space.Thursday, March 17
You're wasting your money
We all do it...we waste our money even when we think we're being shopper savvy overall. Here are some of the top ways mommies burn the bank!
~ You buy name brand baby meds. We have always bought the Target brand (up and up) of infant ibprofen (think infant advil), infant tylenol and infant gas drops (think mylicon). Not only are they usually more than 50% cheaper, they don't seem to be recalled nearly as often! Since Boo was born in 2008, Mylicon has been recalled once and Infant's Tylenol twice...and you guessed it, Target's brand has not been even once!
~ You buy the larger size always assuming you're saving by buying in bulk. This is not always the case! I have found several times that the smaller size (especially if the smaller size is on sale and the larger size isn't) can be almost half the price! Most grocery stores state how much you are paying per piece or ounce right on the shelf price tag. Take a minute to read the fine print!
~ Buying in bulk and stocking up when the price is right. Check the expiration dates! I recently threw away two bottles of ketchup I had bought in a three pack because the price was great...ketchup doesn't last nearly as long as I thought and I actually lit a few bucks on fire and crowed my pantry with that "deal". If there is a to-die-for-deal, go in with a friend or family member if you don't have a chance of using the goods before they rot.
~ Think you're being savvy by consigning, garage selling or even handing down those clothes your kids don't fit anymore? Well wait just a minute!!! I made two stupid, jumping the gun mistakes on this topic. Boo was a chub of a baby and since I knew I was having a girl next well before most even think about baby number two, I was eager to clear the clutter and get rid of clothes he outgrew. Well, like any child he started walking...and when he started walking he thinned out and went down a size! Wouldn't have been such a big deal except for those smaller waisted clothes were long gone. Soooo back to the store to replace what I had and waste some hard earned cash. Same concept with potty training. Underwear are a lot smaller than diapers and Boo lost a full pant size when we made the switch...you guessed it, back to the store to burn some money on new pants we just got rid of!
~ Buying full sized sheet paper towels. Sure, select-a-size rolls may cost more per roll or square foot or whatever, but they last almost twice as long in my house than a regular large sheet roll. Try it...I swear it is a universal fact!
~ Paying full price plus shipping online. There is always a coupon code online for free shipping or a hefty percent off somewhere out there on the web. I LOVE retailmenot.com...or just google "<store name> coupon code". There isn't? Wait a week and it will magically show up in your email. True story...wanted a $5 thing from disneystore.com, but I couldn't find a way to save on the price or get free shipping anywhere. Less than a week later I got an email from them with a code for free shipping! The trick? Sign in to the online store and put some items in your online cart, but don't buy them. Quite often you'll get an offer in your email (thus why you must sign in) to lure you back and finish your purchase!
~ Buying name brand vegetable/corn oil and cooking spray...instead of Mazola and Pam, but the Walmart brand! Again, you'll save nearly 50% on virtually the same product.
~ Don't buy new toys. Have toy swaps with friends or hit up garage sales, consignment stores and/or your local Goodwill. Ebay and craislist.org are great options as well. Not only are new toys a waste of money, they usually require a skilled professional to remove it from the packaging and an hour or more of skilled labor to assemble...or just figure out where the batteries go!
~ Buying children's vitamins isn't always neccessary. I buy the adult calcium chewable and cut them in half (the ones I buy are two in a serving). If you do the math (so for mine I divided the nutrition facts by four), it is almost exactly the same as one kids vitamin...and WAY cheaper.
~ Last but not least....don't buy a dishwasher safe cutting board that is too big for your dishwasher!!!
~ You buy name brand baby meds. We have always bought the Target brand (up and up) of infant ibprofen (think infant advil), infant tylenol and infant gas drops (think mylicon). Not only are they usually more than 50% cheaper, they don't seem to be recalled nearly as often! Since Boo was born in 2008, Mylicon has been recalled once and Infant's Tylenol twice...and you guessed it, Target's brand has not been even once!
~ You buy the larger size always assuming you're saving by buying in bulk. This is not always the case! I have found several times that the smaller size (especially if the smaller size is on sale and the larger size isn't) can be almost half the price! Most grocery stores state how much you are paying per piece or ounce right on the shelf price tag. Take a minute to read the fine print!
~ Buying in bulk and stocking up when the price is right. Check the expiration dates! I recently threw away two bottles of ketchup I had bought in a three pack because the price was great...ketchup doesn't last nearly as long as I thought and I actually lit a few bucks on fire and crowed my pantry with that "deal". If there is a to-die-for-deal, go in with a friend or family member if you don't have a chance of using the goods before they rot.
~ Think you're being savvy by consigning, garage selling or even handing down those clothes your kids don't fit anymore? Well wait just a minute!!! I made two stupid, jumping the gun mistakes on this topic. Boo was a chub of a baby and since I knew I was having a girl next well before most even think about baby number two, I was eager to clear the clutter and get rid of clothes he outgrew. Well, like any child he started walking...and when he started walking he thinned out and went down a size! Wouldn't have been such a big deal except for those smaller waisted clothes were long gone. Soooo back to the store to replace what I had and waste some hard earned cash. Same concept with potty training. Underwear are a lot smaller than diapers and Boo lost a full pant size when we made the switch...you guessed it, back to the store to burn some money on new pants we just got rid of!
~ Buying full sized sheet paper towels. Sure, select-a-size rolls may cost more per roll or square foot or whatever, but they last almost twice as long in my house than a regular large sheet roll. Try it...I swear it is a universal fact!
~ Paying full price plus shipping online. There is always a coupon code online for free shipping or a hefty percent off somewhere out there on the web. I LOVE retailmenot.com...or just google "<store name> coupon code". There isn't? Wait a week and it will magically show up in your email. True story...wanted a $5 thing from disneystore.com, but I couldn't find a way to save on the price or get free shipping anywhere. Less than a week later I got an email from them with a code for free shipping! The trick? Sign in to the online store and put some items in your online cart, but don't buy them. Quite often you'll get an offer in your email (thus why you must sign in) to lure you back and finish your purchase!
~ Buying name brand vegetable/corn oil and cooking spray...instead of Mazola and Pam, but the Walmart brand! Again, you'll save nearly 50% on virtually the same product.
~ Don't buy new toys. Have toy swaps with friends or hit up garage sales, consignment stores and/or your local Goodwill. Ebay and craislist.org are great options as well. Not only are new toys a waste of money, they usually require a skilled professional to remove it from the packaging and an hour or more of skilled labor to assemble...or just figure out where the batteries go!
~ Buying children's vitamins isn't always neccessary. I buy the adult calcium chewable and cut them in half (the ones I buy are two in a serving). If you do the math (so for mine I divided the nutrition facts by four), it is almost exactly the same as one kids vitamin...and WAY cheaper.
~ Last but not least....don't buy a dishwasher safe cutting board that is too big for your dishwasher!!!
Tuesday, March 8
Postpartum or Culture Shock: An Unhealthy Dose of Both
So I would love to focus on the wonderful parts of parenthood as there are so many, but I don't feel I'm doing any future mommies good by doing what all others did to me. All I heard was "oh you'll fall in love the moment you see that little baby". Well, I didn't.
I spent nine months feeling like crap and donating my body to a sick science experiment. I woke up daily and did a stretchmarks search and reeked of a nasty blend of Vaseline and Palmer's Cocoa Butter (the smell still makes my stomach turn to this day). I had heartburn from five days before I knew I was pregnant until the second Boo was out of my body. In the last few months of pregnancy I gave up sleep (you try to sleep after gaining 30 pounds in your gut with a strong set of arms in legs in you paired with constant heartburn) and took up sciatic nerve pain as a nightly ritual instead.
Labor itself was fine lasting just over nineteen and a half hours. As I mentioned previously, his heart rate was dropping and he had to have CPR just after birth. I saw him and.....well, he looked like a wrinkly old man. Cute wrinkly old man, don't get me wrong. Daddy held him first while I chugged my first drink of water sans heartburn in 40 plus weeks and a doctor stitched up what was left of me. I held him and looked at awe at what I created. But that was about it. Crazy shit there really was a baby in there. Ok, now I'm flipping exhausted let's go to bed. So we did.
Wake up seven hours later (nurses gave me lots of crap about that thinking duh, I should have woken him up every two hours to feed him...hell no!) and blood blisters all over my nipples. And oh my god are you SURE there isn't another baby in this tummy? AND holy crap am I going to need a blood transfusion or something if I bleed another drop?!?!? We go home and life starts...or ends?
I had spent nine months obsessing over my pregnancy week by week and then hours on end obsessing over labor itself. I had never really taken the time to focus on everything after being discharged from the hospital. Sure people told me the sleep deprivation was rough, but no one really told me that I would feel like I just ran a 19 plus hour marathon after not sleeping well for several months...not to mention that labor is basically a major surgery to your body and you will hurt! So here I am exhausted and looking at this always hungry life sucker that won't even smile at me (babies don't smile until about six weeks old....they literally have nothing to offer but poop and demands at all hours of the night and day for the first several weeks of like).
I had ruined my life. OMG I HAD RUINED MY LIFE! Crap. I can't give him back because this wasn't an adoption. Maybe I can run away and not look back. Or (here's where it gets really rough) maybe I'll get lucky and he'll die of SIDS. I never once thought to inflict harm on him, but after a few months I realized these thoughts were definitely postpartum.
However, I find it hard to believe that most first time mothers don't have similar thoughts. I have spoken to several moms who have...especially moms who have no immediate connection and feel guilty because they're "supposed" to.
Anyhow, everything fell into place when I gave up trying to breastfeed and switched to formula when he was two weeks old. The little booger started looking at me when I fed him and slept much longer stretches of time. My body became mine again (well, more than when I was breastfeeding). By the time he was two months old we were two peas in a pod and are to this day. I had a much healthier attitude the second time around (at least in my opinion). I looked at Bubbi's first 6 weeks as pure survival mode. Once that precious baby gives you a smile everything is worth it and you can start to feel all the good things that are to come.
I spent nine months feeling like crap and donating my body to a sick science experiment. I woke up daily and did a stretchmarks search and reeked of a nasty blend of Vaseline and Palmer's Cocoa Butter (the smell still makes my stomach turn to this day). I had heartburn from five days before I knew I was pregnant until the second Boo was out of my body. In the last few months of pregnancy I gave up sleep (you try to sleep after gaining 30 pounds in your gut with a strong set of arms in legs in you paired with constant heartburn) and took up sciatic nerve pain as a nightly ritual instead.
Labor itself was fine lasting just over nineteen and a half hours. As I mentioned previously, his heart rate was dropping and he had to have CPR just after birth. I saw him and.....well, he looked like a wrinkly old man. Cute wrinkly old man, don't get me wrong. Daddy held him first while I chugged my first drink of water sans heartburn in 40 plus weeks and a doctor stitched up what was left of me. I held him and looked at awe at what I created. But that was about it. Crazy shit there really was a baby in there. Ok, now I'm flipping exhausted let's go to bed. So we did.
Wake up seven hours later (nurses gave me lots of crap about that thinking duh, I should have woken him up every two hours to feed him...hell no!) and blood blisters all over my nipples. And oh my god are you SURE there isn't another baby in this tummy? AND holy crap am I going to need a blood transfusion or something if I bleed another drop?!?!? We go home and life starts...or ends?
I had spent nine months obsessing over my pregnancy week by week and then hours on end obsessing over labor itself. I had never really taken the time to focus on everything after being discharged from the hospital. Sure people told me the sleep deprivation was rough, but no one really told me that I would feel like I just ran a 19 plus hour marathon after not sleeping well for several months...not to mention that labor is basically a major surgery to your body and you will hurt! So here I am exhausted and looking at this always hungry life sucker that won't even smile at me (babies don't smile until about six weeks old....they literally have nothing to offer but poop and demands at all hours of the night and day for the first several weeks of like).
I had ruined my life. OMG I HAD RUINED MY LIFE! Crap. I can't give him back because this wasn't an adoption. Maybe I can run away and not look back. Or (here's where it gets really rough) maybe I'll get lucky and he'll die of SIDS. I never once thought to inflict harm on him, but after a few months I realized these thoughts were definitely postpartum.
However, I find it hard to believe that most first time mothers don't have similar thoughts. I have spoken to several moms who have...especially moms who have no immediate connection and feel guilty because they're "supposed" to.
Anyhow, everything fell into place when I gave up trying to breastfeed and switched to formula when he was two weeks old. The little booger started looking at me when I fed him and slept much longer stretches of time. My body became mine again (well, more than when I was breastfeeding). By the time he was two months old we were two peas in a pod and are to this day. I had a much healthier attitude the second time around (at least in my opinion). I looked at Bubbi's first 6 weeks as pure survival mode. Once that precious baby gives you a smile everything is worth it and you can start to feel all the good things that are to come.
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