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If you're looking for me to brag about how cute my kids are (which they are) or talk about how much weight I did or didn't lose this week, you are in the wrong place! I have a Facebook account for that. This blog is about the blunt truths of parenting, tips and tricks of the trade, some addicting mommy junk and all the other disgusting hilarity that ensues when you have kids...especially two kids only 12 months apart like myself.

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Tuesday, June 28

Diary of a Neurotic Mom: Coffee crack whore

 I woke up this am and drank my coffee like every other day. However, we were out of my usual breakfast item...a banana (no, that's not all I eat for breakfast...just a starter until my mojo is going).

So about an hour later I am in FULL CRACK HEAD MODE! But really, it was awesome!

I vacuumed the downstairs and the stairs, I mopped three times (yes, neurotic - twice with pinesol and then once with water to get the nasty smelling pinesol up - bought the wrong sent last time), magic erasered the pantry door, cut and organized a butt load of coupons (and yes, I am getting into extreme couponing - rock out with your cock out ladies!) and still had some steam left in me to take care of the kids.

Here's the nasty sink water...why the HELL are my floors so gross even
though I mop two to three times a week?!?!?

And here's Bubbi crawling. She no longer walks, even on the carpet, when I mopping. She falls and slips too much (even with shoes on).

But then the inevitable happened. The crash.

I was a bitch to the kids.

I was sweaty and sticky as it was noon and I still hadn't taken a shower and had been psycho cleaning for several hours.

The kids flipped out and turned into froathy mouthed heathens as I'd forgotten to feed them lunch in my crack whore coffee high.

It was over. My high was over....and my house? F-ING TRASHED!!! While I was so busy deep cleaning the kids were busy tornadoing around dumping toys and spreading coupon paper scraps while dripping their snack, watermelon, all over my clean floors.

Hmmm. Not sure I'll be doing that again anytime soon.


Small Kucing said...

a mom's work is never really done. LOL. I must have my daily coffee fix too. Over here it's called "Kopi"


Tanaka Family said...

I think you are hilarious!! Everything you speak about is so true and yet so funny. I enjoy reading your blogs you make my day.