As I have stated in the past, I am darn close to full on myrmecophobia (phobia of ants). If you missed it, be sure to read my procedure for dealing with a scout ant at http://bubbiandboo.blogspot.com/2011/03/scout-ant-headhunter.html.
So I thought you might all like to see my issue with ants slowly turn into a true psychiatric disorder (as a case study for those sicked hearted people who are glad there are people worse off then themselves....much like myself).
My latest and greatest addition to my insanity is emptying the vacuum every time I use it. Why? Well, the large majority of crap I vacuum up is food. And although I hate to admit it, I'm sure I vacuum up an ant or two without noticing.
OMG!?!? What if the scout ant lived through being vacuumed and found the way back to his homies....then they all had a party to my vacuum and back through my livingroom, down the hallway and straight into my laundry room!??! OH HELL NO!!!
ANNNNNND, what if my vacuum smells like a five star restaurant and some ant hits the jackpot and tells his homies....again, terrible picture of a thick parade of ants to my vacuum!!!
So yes, my issue with ants continues to escalate into more neurotic, ritualistic behaviors. Wonder if I should see some help?
Um, maybe later.
Showing posts with label myrmecophobia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label myrmecophobia. Show all posts
Monday, April 18
Sunday, March 13
Scout Ant Headhunter
I DESPISE ants.
They do not belong anywhere near my home. I see one outside and I want to strip naked and submerse myself into a body of water (don't worry, I don't do it every time I see one). Yes, I guess you could say I have a phobia of ants, myrmecophobia google tells me.
First of all, know that ONE scout ant will return to his hill and tell his buddies where the food, grease etc is. Even if you kill the bastard they can follow the scent of his trail. You see one today, tomorrow you have an army two million deep cruising through your kitchen.
So here is how it goes down when I see an ant, one single scout ant, in my home.
EVERYTHING is cleared off all the counters of my kitchen. The counters are wiped clean with a potent mix of pinesol and water (straight pinesol if I'm feeling extra hardcore). Everything is wiped down and thoroughly inspected for signs of food, grease or ants before returning to the sterile counter environment.
Then the floors. I vacuum every inch of the floors, moving furniture toys and whatever/whoever might be in my path. The floors are the sterilized with my Euro-Pro Shark S3501 Steam Pocket Mop with 3 Quick Release Mop Heads and 4 Pads. Then I go over with the pinesol again.
Ceasar, my bug guy, is on speed dial of course and is immediately notified that I WILL be his first appointment the following day. He baits the out of reach cracks in my kitchen and gives me the same speech that I have too many indoor plants like his wife.
He leaves and I take a deep breath....until I see another scout ant on my territory and then we do it all again....
They do not belong anywhere near my home. I see one outside and I want to strip naked and submerse myself into a body of water (don't worry, I don't do it every time I see one). Yes, I guess you could say I have a phobia of ants, myrmecophobia google tells me.
First of all, know that ONE scout ant will return to his hill and tell his buddies where the food, grease etc is. Even if you kill the bastard they can follow the scent of his trail. You see one today, tomorrow you have an army two million deep cruising through your kitchen.
So here is how it goes down when I see an ant, one single scout ant, in my home.
EVERYTHING is cleared off all the counters of my kitchen. The counters are wiped clean with a potent mix of pinesol and water (straight pinesol if I'm feeling extra hardcore). Everything is wiped down and thoroughly inspected for signs of food, grease or ants before returning to the sterile counter environment.
Then the floors. I vacuum every inch of the floors, moving furniture toys and whatever/whoever might be in my path. The floors are the sterilized with my Euro-Pro Shark S3501 Steam Pocket Mop with 3 Quick Release Mop Heads and 4 Pads. Then I go over with the pinesol again.
Ceasar, my bug guy, is on speed dial of course and is immediately notified that I WILL be his first appointment the following day. He baits the out of reach cracks in my kitchen and gives me the same speech that I have too many indoor plants like his wife.
He leaves and I take a deep breath....until I see another scout ant on my territory and then we do it all again....
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