Ended in Strangers and Blood. Awesome!!

So, being the super cool mom I am, I decided to meet some friends at a new local children's museum. I go places alone with both kids alllll the time. No big!

No big? F-ME BIG!

Bubbi decides she's done. Over it. Time to go. Ok, so I give Boo a 10 minute warning. In the meantime, Bubbi throws herself on the floor and conducts a no-joke 10 minute tantrum. I just let her while I talk to other moms and occasionally mouth "two year old" or "nap time" to staring passerbys.

Ten minutes later I tell Boo time to go (with a one minute warning before of course). He FLIPS OUT.

Really? They are really both going to do this to me? Awesome!!!

I pull kicking and screaming Bubbi off the floor and try to carry her flailing body in one arm and Boo in the other.

No go.

We make it to the parking lot and both kids drop to the floor kicking and screaming. Boo's shoe is off and all he wants me to do is hold him...after I put his shoe back on. Bubbi just wants to freak out, kick and scream and generally act like a tired two year old from hell.

A few minutes later of me not making it anywhere and this ANGEL (with strollered 2 year old twins of her own) offers to help. I say, "PLEASE!"

She takes kicking and screaming Boo with both hands while I have kicking and screaming Bubbi in one hand and I push the stroller with the other. We get to my car and Bubbi is COVERED IN BLOOD!!!!

REALLY?!??!!

I thank the lady and she bolts. I lock Boo in the car (he's totally freaked out now - yes, even more than before - since a stranger just carried him 15 yards) so I can see why the hell Bubbi is bleeding.

Turns out to be her gums. Cut them or something at some point during her freak out. I fight to strap her sorry butt in the car then get Boo in.

We leave. THANK GOD!

Just Call CPS: At Town Center

Being the stupid and spacey mom I am, I thought it would be a great idea to get the kids out of the house even though they've been sick. It was that or kill them both and then myself (not really, but you get the idea). After a few days on lock down, Bubbi snapped and started biting, hitting, pushing, pulling, sitting on and just in general driving Boo insane CONSTANTLY.

So we left the four walls and went to get some take out to eat at Town Center's picnic area (usually empty/few to no kids to expose to our latest and greatest ailment). We get there and eat...all is well.

Boo wants to cross the street to go to the other picnic area. I take Boo's hand and try to grab Bubbi's. "NO!" she tells me. That's nice, too bad. You have to hold my hand or we aren't crossing the street.

She drops to the floor and pulls a full on tantrum. Boo is starting to get upset because he'd prefer we cross the street than stand and watch Bubbi scream on the floor (yup, that's what I do....let them scream until they are ready to do what needs to be done).

Three minutes later, Bubbi is still screaming. We are right by the street and cars are slowing down to get a good look at the scene. I smile at them to assure I don't need help...or the police called on me. After about five minutes I pick up the ranging almost two-year-old and carry her flailing body across the street while holding Boo's compliant hand (she's holding strong and not about to stop tantruming any time soon). He runs to play. I somewhat drop, somewhat set down Bubbi's insanely pissed body as she continues to tantrum. Of course I look up to see about 10 business people enjoying what was a quiet happy hour on the patio of a local bistro...laughing at Bubbi. I smile and look down at my naughty lemur acting her damn age.

Ok, so now its been 10 minutes. She is not regrouping in the slightest even though we crossed the street (hand holding being the original source of this all). I call Boo over and tell him time to go. He's bummed but follows. He whines a few times because he wants me to hold him (but I am doing my best to hold the flailing, insane Bubbi).

We make it to the car (singing comes from the heavens). Boo gets in and I take a quick moment to thank him for his amazing behavior. I have to wrestle Bubbi into her seat all wrestling WWE style (had to throw my elbow to get her buckled as she was still in full satanic toddler mode).

The rabid beast screams the ENTIRE 15 minutes home. Boo looks like he's dying. What the hell was I thinking?!?!

We get home. Boo's fever is 102!!! OMG I SUCK!!! Bubbi recovers and continues to be an antagonistic brat to her brother. He cries so hard from one of her jabs he pukes. EARLY BEDTIME!

Judge away. I totally blew this one!

And then there was Bubbi...

I've said it, being pregnant sucks (or at least sucked for me). What's worse?  Being pregnant when you have a kid (or an infant like me...remember Boo was only 3 months old when I found out I was pregnant with Bubbi)!

Even though I didn't "work" while pregnant with Bubbi, I got waaay less rest than when I was pregnant the first time. No coming home from work at 5:30 and crashing on the couch. No deciding that Saturdays and Sundays were for beaching myself in my Lazyboy recliner with the remote. No, Boo needed to be changed, fed and played with no matter what day of the week it was.

So now I lost the only good thing about being pregnant to me, and that was sitting on my pregnant ass and being treated like a princesses. Boo didn't care! He even made me carry him up and down the stairs through the whole pregnancy (no, he was not a super baby and couldn't walk at 3 months old...wtf?). And yes, I lifted the 30 pound stroller in and out of the car even at nine months pregnant (gasp! a first time pregnant woman would probably expect to spontaneous miscarriage if they did such a thing).

The good thing? I only gained 21 pounds even though I ate anything and everything I wanted (gained 37 with Boo and that was with counting calories and going to the gym). So it had its upside...I guess.

The last few weeks of my pregnancy were torture! I cried everyday just praying for her to come and end my insanity. I checked the mirror several times a day to see if my stomach became a road map (I didn't).

I lost sleep at night over the fear of having to love a second child when I loved Boo so much. How much was he going to regress? Would he ever forgive me? Would he hate her and try to smother her to death? So many worries and discomforts!

Finally, on the night of Boo's first birthday, I went into labor. I came out of the bathroom and told hubby we might need to call 911 because there was so much blood. He just laughed and said he got a pretty good view last time and lots of blood was normal.

We got to the hospital and they put me in their stupid observation room and left me there for an hour! They finally come back and were like, "Oh we need to admit you." NO SHIT!

So I'm in excruciating pain and want my epidural (no all-natural here...I'm a puss...no shame), but they insist on giving my IV first and confirmed I didn't feel any pressure (I felt tons of pressure but no way in hell was anybody going to tell me I was too far along for an epidural).

Well, my blood pressure drops (it's low usually and both pregnancies made it go too low several times) and they can't find a vein. Then I almost pass out from the needles so Bubbi's heart rate drops too low and they need to give me juice and wait...THREE MORE TRIES WITH THE NEEDLED!

Finally they bring in the pro and get me hooked up and give me my amazing drugs. As soon as the epidural is in, I let the nurse know I was lying and did feel tons of pressure, like, a flipping hour ago before all this drama. She gives me a smirk and checks me...an 8.5+.

And what happens? The epidural totally stalled my labor..THANK GOD! I so needed some time to watch TV and read a magazine after all that pain...plus I knew the impending doom that is a newborn!

Bubbi was born five hours after my epidural. I pushed her out in 5 minutes with no stitches (healing was a breeze with her...nothing like the crap I went through after Boo was born).

My daddy, mother-in-law and Boo came to meet the new princess a few hours later. Boo was terrified of me in the hospital bed and barely interested in his new sister. I was totally distraught.

The next day we went home and began the second part of our adventure in parenting...Bubbi and Boo makes two!

Wordless Wednesday: Gogurt oops

Boo apparently had some gogurt shoot out accidentally (believe me it was not on purpose as gogurt is very special to him).

This is what I walked up to see...

As you can see, Bubbi could care less as she is too busy eating her gogurt...

Once I finished cleaning Bubbi off, I saw this...

And yes, I was yelling for him to stop as I was taking the picture. Terrible mom. Oh well, hilarious!

Just Call CPS: I am only one

Kids get hurt. It happens. Still a sad sight when it does!

This past weekend we went to a quaint little town as a family. Daddy wanted to run into a delicate trinket store, a no go for the kids.

So the kids and I spent a few minutes alone like we do every other day of our lives when daddy works. Unfortunately, things went bad quickly.

Bubbi fell and scraped her shin and knee. No biggie. Time to head to the car anyways as daddy would only be a few minutes. So I buckle Bubbi into her seat and clean her scrapes.

Boo is directed to hold onto the chain in between two metal posts. He is within arms reach and I can see him out of the corner of my eye. He is a good listener and only needs to wait while I quickly clean Bubbi's leg before I buckle him in on the other side.

Thud, scream and Boo is gone from the corner of my eye!!!

AHHH! I look over to see Boo getting off the floor with asphalt nastiness in his hair. He's trying to cry, but doing that gasping for air thing. Poor dude must have flipped over the top of the chain he was "holding" on to. Ok, mommy kiss it better.

Then he turns up to look at me and this is what I see...

Holy crap! A goose egg from hell that is bleeding!!! WHERE IS DADDY! NEED ASSISTANCE!

I console Boo and wait for what seemed like hours (less than five minutes) until daddy comes to the car (champ Boo had stopped crying after only a minute or two). The minute he walks up I burst into tears. He sees the damage and runs to a restaurant to grab Boo some ice.

Boo's fine. Bubbi ate it over a pile of sticks an hour later and gashed up the same leg a little more before we made it to the safety of home (and pants). Mommy needed a drink. Long day. Being only one person, one mommy with more than one kid, can be rough...for everyone!

Kids can ruin your marriage: From 2 months to the 2nd pregnancy...

We left off with no sex and no sleep with a tired, abused body for the wife. Husband's day to day is quite similar to before kids with work etc while the wife stays home with a new baby and what's left of her body (I know this sides with the wife, I'm trying husbands...).

Both wife and husband are somewhat over the shock in the abrupt change in their lives. In my house, sleep was returning as by two months, my little Boo was sleeping about 10.5 hours straight (feel free to virtually shoot me, I know...what an awesome baby).

Now the wife, mommy, is finally really adjusting and feeling this whole mommy thing (as well as physically returning to a human as opposed to an abused host to a possessed watermelon). Seeing her husband, daddy, hold the baby warms her heart. Daddy feels the same when he sees his wife in her maternal state...in the back of his mind he sees his new position in life as baby first, husband second. Marital stress!

And now the sex pressure comes back. Right around that time I had finally been cleared for sex, though it was still very painful and low on my to-do list (I am 100% healed now for all you terrified moms to be). We finally did it...once. Poor husband wants to return to more life as usual (aka before kids) in the bedroom, while wife is so not there yet! Marital stress!

Me? Well, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later...yes, Boo was only 3 months old when we found out we were going to have another baby one night shy of an immaculate conception! AND CRAP! Be pregnant for another lame nine months! MORE MARITAL STRESS!

The plunger is not a toy...

Cholera is supposedly an illness mainly related to third world countries and areas of devastation...so why is it that I'm so worried my kids with get it?

THEY'RE NASTY!

Ok, all kids are nasty and don't understand "common sense" things right off the bat (though that totally changes the basis of the phrase "common sense" to "learned sense"). We are all born idiots and only gain common sense through life experiences like eating sand, falling off chairs and everything else stupid.

Back to the story.

I am so suprised neither of my kids have gotten Cholera or any other disease that comes from uncleanliness. Don't get my wrong, I clean....I scrub....I sterilize.

Here are some of the issues that come along with close birth spacing. When Boo was potty training Bubbi wanted to see, taste and be a part of all of it! When I was trying to wipe Boo's butt, Bubbi was playing in the little potty of poop. If I dumped the poop first, she was all up in his butt with him screaming. I eventually got a system down that limited her exposure to his poop, but no system is perfect (especially if Bubbi is involved).

Then there's the plunger and the toilet scrubber. Why oh why are they so exciting? Just the other day while I was trying to carry on adult conversation with a friend while Boo did his business, Bubbi found the plunger and was swinging it over her head hitting Boo with it.

Nasty.

Wipe the kids down and wait for the early symptoms of CHOLERA, "profuse painless diarrhea and vomiting clear fluid" per Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cholera.

Oh the joys of parenting....

Bubbi Makes Two

Boo was a great baby...maybe even too good as we like to blame him for his sister being conceived. He started sleeping over ten hours straight by 2.5 months. Josh and I had agreed not to prevent baby number two, but it was a moot issue anyways as Boo was Edward Scissorhead and getting pregnant was not even a possibility for the first ten weeks. After our first successful rendezvous during one of Boo's 10 hour sleep marathons I decided it was probably a better idea to start the pill. Well, first time's a charm and when Boo was just over 3 months old I walked into the living room and gagged when I smelled Josh's coffee with vanilla creamer (what I'm drinking now mind you). I panicked and tossed him Boo while I ran to pee on a stick. The yes line was darker than the test line with in seconds. OMG here we go again!!!!

Josh and I were both in shock for a bit (I'd say the first trimester), but agreed we had decided we did want two close together. We giggled when we found out our little Bubbi was due on Boo's first birthday to the day! Irish Twins here we come....