Sorry for my absence, but I've been busy being mommy...in all its glory.
Two nights ago I fell asleep early on the couch. About 30 minutes after I moved to the bedroom, MOTHER F-ING DOG barks like mad and wakes me up. It is about 11 pm...and I can't freaking fall back asleep until about 1am.
3 am: Boo opens his bedroom door and screams, "I PUKED!" Ugg! I go in there and it is only on his little blankie. I removed the blankie, hug the kid and he goes right back down. Sweet for what happened!
3:10am: As I leave Boo's room I hear Bubbi crying. He must have woken her up when he felt he needed to open to door (I have a monitor in his room) and scream that he puked. I rock Bubbi for a few seconds and go downstairs.
3:45am: I am finally amost back asleep when Boo opens his door and screams, "I PUKED AGAIN!!!!" WTF? I thought maybe he gagged himself on something the first time, but now poor Boo must be sick. Oh yeah, and he had nasty diarrhea the day before.
4:05am: Boo's sheets and diarrhea filled night diaper are changed and I'm finally crawling into bed...the I hear Bubbi squawk over the monitor. My thought? Sorry Bub, but you're just being needy! So I let her cry.
4:45am: Boo shouts, "I PUKED AGAAAAAAAIN!!!" Awesome! I run up and strip his bed. I'm all out of waterproof mattress pads so I pack him up and move him to the couch.
5:00am: Boo is watching TV and I'm on my own couch half asleep. Cue Bubbi crying. WTF? She is really this thrown off? She never wakes until at least 7am and she usually goes right back down on her if she does.
5:05am: Bubbi's officially screaming. I go up there and....she puke allllll over her bed, herself, lovies etc. Holy crap did she puke just now or last time she cried? I am SUCH a bad mom!!!
5:25am: Bubbi is cleaned off (well enough for 5 in the morning), three sets of bedding are in the laundry machine with two pillows and a stuffed animal in line behind them. Boo's face says it all and he pukes all over the floor.
Insert a few hours of puking and pooping....
11:00am: I'm standing with Bubbi next to me and I feel something dripping on my foot. I look down and, yup, diarrhea pouring from her diaper...onto my foot.
You get the point. My morning and entire day SUCKED! Hoping this shit (pun intended) is over.
Showing posts with label my morning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my morning. Show all posts
Friday, June 24
Thursday, May 19
My morning: The gym
My ass is expanding so, like any woman who doesn't want her ass to expand, I went to the gym.
No, Tuesday is wasn't that easy. It was one of those days where the world was out to get me. No way around it. The weather sucked and the kids were rowdy.
I packed up the kids and got them into the car...a little later than usual, but we were on our way. My mom called and I answered the phone (yes, hands free). I missed my usual turn...no biggie. Take the next one.
Then I saw cops blocking off the street. BOOOOO! Ok, turn around and go back the way I usually go. More cops! WTF? Someone better be dead for all this commotion (I know, straight to hell for me).
One more u-turn and down another block. More cops! Ok, not an accident. What the hell is going on Tuesday morning that requires so much police activity???
FORTH attempt and I see a carnival being set up. Really?! All this for a carnival...in the flipping rain?? No way.
About to turn one more time when I finally catch you can't go through that way either! WTF? Quick post on mobile facebook and I find out there is some stupid bike race. Ugg!!!! My fat ass needs to work out!
But I am hungry and now it is almost the kids lunchtime....
I tell the kids we're going to skip the gym and go out to eat. Boo flips out because he loves the gym child care. FINE!! I'll try and get us there. However, the kids need to eat soon so they don't flip out (got out late and already burned about 30 extra minutes in traffic and u-turns).
Drove through McDonald's. I ate a deep fried nugget...on my way to the freaking gym!
Took the freeway all the way to the other side of town. Go up the back way...that should work. WRONG! BLOCKED!
Take the next road...dumb ass! That street goes back to the one you were just on! How long have you lived here?
Last try. Go all the way to to river and go up that street. If this one doesn't work, we're going home to cry and hide for a week.
It works!!! I get the kids out and drop my cell phone in the rain and it shatters into three pieces. Awesome!
I make the kids walk because I can't emotionally handle carrying either of them at this point. We're about to step up onto the sidewalk when Bubbi squeals with despair as she steps into a huge puddle of water - soaking both feet...socks, shoes and all. SWEET! I took of her shoes and socks. She hates no shoes and socks. Whatever. Scream away, honey.
We get into the child care long ass line and oops - no ID! Can't drop the kids off without your driver's license. Usually you have to take the kids with you to return to your car to go get it. I think the lady sensed I'd probably kill her or cry, so she let me leave the kids there so I could go back out in the pouring rain alone to get it.
FINALLY busting my butt on the stepmill. It took an hour and a half to make a usually twenty minute trip! Thirty seven minutes in and feeling good - going to do a solid hour with some sprints in the next few minutes....
"Excuse me...we've got a poopy," says the child care dude to my sweaty, panting face. SERIOUSLY?!?!? NOW!??!
"Ok, just give me a minute to cool down because I pass out if I don't cool down on this machine." I'm pissed because I know Bubbi will freak if I leave her after changing her, plus I know I won't be able to get back into it. PLUS it's almost naptime because it took me so long to get to the gym!
Change her nasty poop and leave to shower (yes, she flipped out, but at this point I could really care less).
I shower, grab the kids and get them all bundled up to go out in the rain (but no shoes or socks for Bubbi because they're all wet). Boo decides he has to pee. Takes off his jacket and demands to use the adult locker room. Fine!
So now we are finally heading out the door and they both breakdown. NAP TIME! Boo refuses to put his jacket on and barefooted Bubbi wants to play with the food they sell (like protien drinks etc).
I wrangle up Bubbi and tell Boo, "Fine! No jacket! We're leaving!" He comes holding my hand...until we're in the middle of the street. Then he drops to his knees to have a tantrum because he want's his jacket on in the rain. Yes, he stops to tantrum on the wet floor because he doesn't want to get wet from the rain. IN THE FLIPPING STREET! I am mother-of-the-year at this point as cars stop to watch me wrangle an angry barefooted Bubbi and a jacketless tantruming Boo in the rain in the middle of the street.
"TOO BAD!!" I'm so not stopping to put his jacket on 20 feet from the car with my barefoot pissed off Bubbi and gym bag in one hand.
I am pulling him to the car as best I can without ripping his arm out or dropping Bubbi. In. The. Pouring. Rain.
I get their naughty butts in the car and rush home for nap time!
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!?!? Oh yeah, I thought I might deserve a trip to the gym. Silly me.
After nap that day I snapped this picture. Ahhh, how cute! They're holding hands! See Boo's face? It says, "Team Bubbi and Boo had another victory over mommy this morning...hahahaha!"
No, Tuesday is wasn't that easy. It was one of those days where the world was out to get me. No way around it. The weather sucked and the kids were rowdy.
I packed up the kids and got them into the car...a little later than usual, but we were on our way. My mom called and I answered the phone (yes, hands free). I missed my usual turn...no biggie. Take the next one.
Then I saw cops blocking off the street. BOOOOO! Ok, turn around and go back the way I usually go. More cops! WTF? Someone better be dead for all this commotion (I know, straight to hell for me).
One more u-turn and down another block. More cops! Ok, not an accident. What the hell is going on Tuesday morning that requires so much police activity???
FORTH attempt and I see a carnival being set up. Really?! All this for a carnival...in the flipping rain?? No way.
About to turn one more time when I finally catch you can't go through that way either! WTF? Quick post on mobile facebook and I find out there is some stupid bike race. Ugg!!!! My fat ass needs to work out!
But I am hungry and now it is almost the kids lunchtime....
I tell the kids we're going to skip the gym and go out to eat. Boo flips out because he loves the gym child care. FINE!! I'll try and get us there. However, the kids need to eat soon so they don't flip out (got out late and already burned about 30 extra minutes in traffic and u-turns).
Drove through McDonald's. I ate a deep fried nugget...on my way to the freaking gym!
Took the freeway all the way to the other side of town. Go up the back way...that should work. WRONG! BLOCKED!
Take the next road...dumb ass! That street goes back to the one you were just on! How long have you lived here?
Last try. Go all the way to to river and go up that street. If this one doesn't work, we're going home to cry and hide for a week.
It works!!! I get the kids out and drop my cell phone in the rain and it shatters into three pieces. Awesome!
I make the kids walk because I can't emotionally handle carrying either of them at this point. We're about to step up onto the sidewalk when Bubbi squeals with despair as she steps into a huge puddle of water - soaking both feet...socks, shoes and all. SWEET! I took of her shoes and socks. She hates no shoes and socks. Whatever. Scream away, honey.
We get into the child care long ass line and oops - no ID! Can't drop the kids off without your driver's license. Usually you have to take the kids with you to return to your car to go get it. I think the lady sensed I'd probably kill her or cry, so she let me leave the kids there so I could go back out in the pouring rain alone to get it.
FINALLY busting my butt on the stepmill. It took an hour and a half to make a usually twenty minute trip! Thirty seven minutes in and feeling good - going to do a solid hour with some sprints in the next few minutes....
"Excuse me...we've got a poopy," says the child care dude to my sweaty, panting face. SERIOUSLY?!?!? NOW!??!
"Ok, just give me a minute to cool down because I pass out if I don't cool down on this machine." I'm pissed because I know Bubbi will freak if I leave her after changing her, plus I know I won't be able to get back into it. PLUS it's almost naptime because it took me so long to get to the gym!
Change her nasty poop and leave to shower (yes, she flipped out, but at this point I could really care less).
I shower, grab the kids and get them all bundled up to go out in the rain (but no shoes or socks for Bubbi because they're all wet). Boo decides he has to pee. Takes off his jacket and demands to use the adult locker room. Fine!
So now we are finally heading out the door and they both breakdown. NAP TIME! Boo refuses to put his jacket on and barefooted Bubbi wants to play with the food they sell (like protien drinks etc).
I wrangle up Bubbi and tell Boo, "Fine! No jacket! We're leaving!" He comes holding my hand...until we're in the middle of the street. Then he drops to his knees to have a tantrum because he want's his jacket on in the rain. Yes, he stops to tantrum on the wet floor because he doesn't want to get wet from the rain. IN THE FLIPPING STREET! I am mother-of-the-year at this point as cars stop to watch me wrangle an angry barefooted Bubbi and a jacketless tantruming Boo in the rain in the middle of the street.
"TOO BAD!!" I'm so not stopping to put his jacket on 20 feet from the car with my barefoot pissed off Bubbi and gym bag in one hand.
I am pulling him to the car as best I can without ripping his arm out or dropping Bubbi. In. The. Pouring. Rain.
I get their naughty butts in the car and rush home for nap time!
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!?!? Oh yeah, I thought I might deserve a trip to the gym. Silly me.
After nap that day I snapped this picture. Ahhh, how cute! They're holding hands! See Boo's face? It says, "Team Bubbi and Boo had another victory over mommy this morning...hahahaha!"
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