Boo-isms: Kids say the darndest things

I know kids say funny things, but it is so flipping funny when your own do! And it starts early. Boo could only saw a few words. I dropped something in the sink when he was 16 mos old and said, "Shit!" Boo's response was "owie". Shit was my go to word when I stubbed my toe etc until that first day Boo threw me under the bus.

~ After telling Boo that my computer was broken so we couldn't watch a cow get milked on you tube, he said, "Me a man me can fix it...me a man, mom"...DUH!

~ When Boo mentioned the wooden statue in the corner of a man crouching, I told him it was fake. His response, "No mom, dead...he dead"...yes, we keep dead people in our house.

~ I was in the shower and Boo ran up to the glass door shouting, "Daddy said Fu**, Daddy said Fu**, Daddy said Fu**...." clear as day, over and over. I tried to ignore him as parenting books suggest, but he just got louder. I finally told him to go tell daddy...great mommy fix-all response.

~ As I was putting on my bra, Boo asked, "Where you put that mommy?" I thought to make sure I understood his questions and then replied, "on my boobs". He responds, "No!!! On your nipples!"...well he wasn't wrong.

~ Boo wanted to show the sitter how he could go potty standing up...just like daddy. He gave a play-by-play of every little detail of how daddy pees....down to the last wiggle and pull. I don't know who was more embarrassed, me or her...or daddy!

~ This one again throws me under the bus. Bubbi kept going up to Boo and hitting him. He came to me and said, "Bubbi pissing me off". Ugg. Ok, I get it...I need to clean up the language!

~ Last but not least, Boo spewed this one out yesterday. Boo was looking for his tool and asked me, "Where's my f**ing banger?" I didn't really believe it until he said it five more times. Daddy dropped the F-bomb that morning, so it was all on him. And yes, we had a talk (both the boys and myself).

Not sure why I tried to hard to get him into my preschool of choice...my hell raiser is going to get kicked out the first week anyways.

R.I.P. Pricilla

Priscilla died a LOUD and painful death this morning at 3:47 am.

I awoke to a loud screeching sound at 3 something in the morning. At first I panicked thinking it was one of the kids. Once I realized it wasn't, I let some foul words flow as I stumbled to the monitors to see which one needed to be beat to chips....but it wasn't a monitor! WTF? I put on my big girl panties and slowly opened the bedroom door, very slowly peeking around the corner. When I didn't see an intruder I scanned the room to see where that terrible sound could be coming from.

Oh no!!! It was Priscilla!!! I tried turning her off or on...something! Nothing worked. In a panic to stop the sound I took out her battery pack, and, silence (I won't even tell you what my plan to put her out of her misery next was)....Poor Priscilla.

May her first life rest in peace. Thank goodness computers have three lives or something like that!